So maybe Bumble isn’t so different from Tinder after all. Boo. Sure, there’s the whole ‘swipe right’ thing, but the guys seemed much more ‘normal’ (whatever that is, these days) and didn’t seem to be so hookup driven. My bad, they are.
The last 2 guys that I’ve been ‘chatting’ with were both here on ‘business’. Haha. Heaven only knows what that entails. The business of hooking up? The business of cheating on their wives? The business of actually working a job? Who really knows.
Here’s the thing about Bumble; it is geographical in nature. Not meaning that you put in your home town and then home town folks show up as matches. Bumble will match you with whoever is within a whatever mile radius of you. Wherever you are. Meaning, if you’re at an airport in a strange town and log in, you get matches from that town. Being as I live in a town with a major airport, that means that I get ‘matched’ with people from all over the place. but I don’t know they’re not local because they all appear to be from my town. Good times.
So back to my knights in a rusty armor. One was here on a boys’ weekend with some pals. Fun, right? Well, he doesn’t tell me this until chat day #3. Of course, we never met but he still messages me kissy faced emoticons, says he’s so glad he ‘met’ me (wtf? we never met face to face) and my favorite, that he misses me. Again, wtf? We never met. Messaging over a dating app on your phone doesn’t count as meeting and messaging over a dating app from the same town or far flung ones is kinda the same, right? It just seems weird to me.
Rusty Knight #2 was kinda funny. Tall and cute with a seemingly great job that takes him all over the world. We chatted and he seemed smart and funny. I noticed, however, that without being completely overt about it, all conversations turned sexual. We would chat about our days and he would say he needed a backrub, or point out the pics of mine online that he liked the best because he could see the most cleavage (is that really a compliment?), he told me about an HBO series that he watches because there is lots of nudity and sex. Uh, duh, he’s a guy. About the woman who invited him over just for sex, but that he absolutely turned her down (he’s not that kinda guy, doncha know). One day I said that I had passed his hotel on my way to a meeting and waved. He responds that i should have flashed him instead of waving. That’s just weird. I was passing his hotel, not him personally and excuse me? Flashing while driving is just not safe. 😉 So anywhoo, I kinda ‘have his number’ but as he seems a bit harmless, if pervy, we continue chatting. As I’m swamped with work, we couldn’t meet but he said that he comes out here every month or so.
Here’s where it gets good! I text him yesterday – oh, whoops, did I forget to mention that we had proceeded to phone texting off the dating app? I’m nutty like that! So I text him in the morning asking when he’s headed back home. No response all day so I figure that meant that he was on his way home. I log into Bumble and his dating profile is deleted. Lovely. Being the online dating cynic that I am, I assume that means he’s either married or has a girlfriend back home and he just likes to play the field when traveling. Gross. I decide to google the number that he was texting me from and it’s one of those numbers that is ‘fake’. Like there’s no actual phone attached to the number, it’s a computer generated number that he can use from his computer. Completely anonymous. Even more gross. Too bad that the 1st text he sent me was accidentally from his ‘work/real’ phone. He realized his mistake and then texted me from his ‘personal’ phone and we used that number the rest of the time. I never deleted phone number one. Ooopsie.
He ended up texting me last night saying that he was, in fact, back home and that he should be back in my town the end of next month. Yey me……..