The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Old Friends January 19, 2017

And by ‘friends’, I mean previously used online dating sites.  G-d help me.

I re-activated my profile in OkCupid (forevermore to be referred to as OkStupid for obvious reasons) after almost 3 years.  And wanted to kill myself within the 1st hour.  Not only was I inundated with messages from inappropriately young boys letting me know how sexy I am, but I received messages from guys I recognized.  Not that I had actually met any of them, but they had not changed a single profile photo in the last 3 years.  Way to keep it current guys!

I did receive a message from a guy who wrote a terrific, if overly sensitive, profile.  So I responded.  With one of my famous ‘you wrote a terrific profile’ and then referred to a detail he included so he knew I actually read his profile and didn’t just say that I did.  I got a response back letting me know that he thought I was very in touch with my feelings or some such bullshit as not a single syllable in my response was remotely touchy-feely.  Whatevs.  He explained that he wanted to meet as he didn’t like messaging back and forth forever.  Uhm, I guess 2 messages seemed excessive to him.  summoning my devil may care red hair mentality, I said sure.  As I knew what part of town he lived in, I picked a place in between us both and suggested it.  He countered with someone closer to him and further from me.  Uhm…….. I explained that I wasn’t familiar with the specific area but would test my navigational skills and he responded back with a somewhat petulant ‘okay, we’ll meet in the area that you suggested’.  Duh.  So we set a time and a day and that was that.  Literally.  Not one word since.

As I hadn’t heard from him in 2 days, I sent a quick ‘as I haven’t heard from you, I wanted to make sure we were still on for Thursday’.  He responds with a ‘yes, we are still on.  i would let you know if I couldn’t make it. Due to the flake factor on here I don’t communicate further with anyone until I meet them’.  Again, uhm……what?!  Cynical much?  Self fulfilling prophecy much?  Off-putting much?  Why yes, yes it is.  I am going to keep the date for tomorrow, but I will probably also feel the need to argue his philosophy on the cutting off contact cold turkey, with no warning, once a date is set.  Kinda weird.  Anywhoo, I guess I’ll let you know ………..


3 Responses to “Old Friends”

  1. […] online dating attracts some of the shittiest people in the universe.  Before I could even meet Mr.Cut Off Communication, he turned into an ass.  As I will do for any ass-wipe who pisses me off, below is our exchange, […]

  2. Cheryl Says:

    I dated someone for the past few months until I recently broke it off. I met him while I was out with friends, but recognized him from online – PoF. While he is still handsome, his online photo is at least 10 years old. Do you know how much better I looked 10 years ago? A lot! But why would I put up an old photo, of how I USED to look? I just looked at his profile, with the same photo, his age listed as 2 years younger, with a profile that is very well written and appealing. But it is all BS. He wasn’t a bad guy, just boring and emotionally detached.

    I suppose I may go back online, but dread it. Hopefully I will met a man more organically before then. Actually, meeting men is not the problem. It’s meeting the right ones that is so difficult.

    • I’ve never understood why people would put up inaccurate descriptions or outdated photos. Isn’t the point of online dating to actually meet in person? Wouldn’t we notice when we showed up and found ourselves sitting across from someone other than we thought? What a concept; meeting someone organically. That would be a dream! Hasn’t happened to me in years (and by years, I mean decades) 😉 I’ll keep good thoughts that you do though!

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