43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Miss Cleo Is Alive And Well January 24, 2017

Filed under: aura,dating,interent dating,internet dating,online dating,psychic,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:00 am

So I went to a well know spiritual mecca with some friends over the weekend.  We usually go once a year in order to find out what the year ahead will hold.  Do we actually believe in psychics, tarot, aura and all else?  Er, I kinda don’t.  However, I kinda do.  While the logical side of my mind knows that generalities can be said that people choose to fit into their world, I would also like to be able to believe that some of this isn’t all smoke and mirrors.

First I got an aura reading.  This is where they take your photo with a thermodynamic fancy schmancy camera.  You can’t actually see your face, but it ‘reads’ the energy around you.  Each color represents something different.  The aura photo I received on Saturday was VERY similar to one I received 2 years ago with the exception of the murky green ‘healing’ part that I blame TD for back then.  In direct contrast to the persona that I put forward, it was pretty interesting to ‘see’ the more spiritual side of me.  Don’t get me wrong, I am neither religious nor exceptionally spiritual (unless hoping that karma kicks certain online daters in the ass counts), but I do believe in energies to a degree.  My aura photo shows that I am a complete Empath.  Someone who takes on everyone else’s problems and tries to help/solve/smooth over any issues.  This is 100% accurate.  My aura photo also showed that I am surrounded by angels.  Laugh if you will, but it might actually be true.  How on earth have I made it this far in the world on my own?  The other colors in my photo were, as my reader told me, ones that everyone hopes to have and varying shades of blue.  Huh.  My friends, of course, had completely different readings but all were pretty spot on.

Next I had a psychic reading and here is where an enormous lesson was learned.  The psychic I chose came up to me wearing sunglasses, a baseball hat and a coat.  He said to follow him and proceeded to walk about 20 paces ahead of me.  He didn’t smile, he didn’t introduce himself and he walked so far ahead of me I couldn’t hear a word he said.  We get to his ‘office’ and I sit down, seriously considering getting right back up and asking for a different psychic.  He says to me ‘wow, what is wrong, you have an enormous wall up’.  I tell him I am feeding off of his energy and he then says ‘my energy is fine, what’s wrong with yours’?  Uhm, WTF?!  So I tell him that I was offput by the fact that he neither smiled, introduced himself nor seemed to be all that engaging and whenever anyone offends me, I just close off.  He completely apologized, we chatted a bit more and he turned out to be a GREAT GUY.  He called me out on my bullshit, he knew about my family challenges, he knows I’m coming off of a several shitty years.  He sees good things to come.  He knew things that I didn’t allude to.  He sees a lot of positives.  I definitely have some work to do, but he sees me coming out of my shell and ‘blossoming’ this year.  Kinda funny he said that as that’s kind of what I feel.  I mean really, I’m wandering around with bright red hair!  He pulled tarot cards while we talked and those cards were to point to the outcome of whatever topic we were on at the time.

He thinks I need to move.  To leave the state that I have been living in for the past umpteen years.  I’ve been planning on doing that anyway, so yey!  Although he hates online dating (not sure if that was an opinion or finding), he does see me meeting someone.  He promised I won’t die alone (whew!).  He saw that TD (sorry) was, in fact, a soul mate, but was never one meant to last.  That I have another one coming.  That I need to work on being more open; on putting down my walls; that I need to do a lot more self care of pampering for myself.  That I need to do less pampering and spoiling of others (including guys).  That I have some deceptive friendships (eek).  He read off my birth chart and off my energy and our conversations.  I believe most of what he told me.  He told me I need to be more positive about myself.  That people will feed off my energy (as shown by our initial interaction).  He sees me ‘with’ someone around March or April.  Whether that is someone currently in my life or someone new, he wasn’t sure, but he saw it.  I choose to believe it.

We chatted a bit about specific men, but as I don’t know the birth-dates of these men, I couldn’t ask specifics.  We were chatting about one guy in particular that I have concerns about as I feel that he might be very much like TD.  The cards pulled during that talk were of heartache and things not working out.  Here’s the thing.  Since I was thinking of both TD & the other guy at the same time, which does this pertain to?  Of course, I don’t believe in the cards enough to discount anything without giving it a chance, but he did suggest that I not go into things all or nothing and that I need to practice not caring so much.  Huh.  Makes sense.  In my 20s & 30s I dated often.  Great guys that I either liked, didn’t like or were completely indifferent to.  Guys that I didn’t worry so much about what they thought of me.  Guys that I had a take it or leave it attitude with.  At no point during my awesome dating spree of decades gone past did I ever try to fit myself into the mold of what I thought these men were looking for.  I know for a fact I did that with TD.  Not at 1st, but as he slowly destroyed my self-confidence and picked away at who I was, I tried to take on the attributes and characteristics of the woman/women I thought he wanted.  As we all well know, that didn’t work out so hot!

Anyway, I had already sort of decided that 2017 is going to be MY year.  I deserve a good one.  I need to work on making it happen, but I will and it will.  I have been challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and *gasp* it hasn’t been that horrible!  I need to go into things with a positive attitude (don’t worry, I’ll always come back here to release my inner snark).  I need to have more confidence; to smile more; to put myself out there.  And I will.

As for that important lesson learned?  It was about judging people and situations too quickly.  I assumed that my psychic didn’t like me and was an asshole, so I completely closed off and was defensive.  Instead of just walking out, I told him what my concerns were.  And all was right with the world again.  I need to give people and situations a chance.  I need to err on the side of being too confident (ha).  I need not take the blame for everything and need to try not to ‘fix’ the universe.  I’m going to work on it!  Set your clocks for late March and let’s see what happens! ❤

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