The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

I Hope No One Snatches You Up February 8, 2017

So, Repo Man. The man who I have been waiting to meet for close to 4 months. The one who got lucky ‘had a really good 3rd date’ 2 nights before we were supposed to meet way back in October. The one that I commended on being so honest and doing the right thing by the gal who slept with him right on schedule. No, really, as we hadn’t met, I had no reason to be upset or anything other than understanding.

Sure, I was disappointed, but I am also trying to give the universe more room to do right by me. Although we never met, we have kept in touch. Yeah, probably not the nicest thing I’ve ever done, but does it make it any better if he was usually the one to contact me first? Darn, didn’t think so. Too bad….

Anyway, we have texted more than a few times over the past 3+ months. He would usually start the text chat by asking if ‘anyone had snatched me up yet’. We spoke on the phone once for what was a pretty great 2 hour-long conversation. We texted pretty consistently once he broke up with bachelorette #1. He said he wanted to take a couple of weeks off from dating. He hoped that ‘no one would snatch me up’ before he decided to meet and inevitably fall in love with me.

We finally had our long-awaited date set for last Friday. I was so excited/nervous to finally meet him. We all know that I don’t stay in contact with people for so long without actually meeting them in person. I don’t want to risk getting invested or attached before it’s been determined if there is even any chemistry before us. As Repo Man seemed so amazing, I made the exception. And it paid off. Our eyes locked as soon as we met and he gave me the biggest hug in the universe. Then he kissed me! Woah, I know that online dating and texting back and forth for almost 4 months can give a false sense of knowing someone, but it was, in fact, the 1st time we’d met. As it’s 2017 and I’m trying new things, I opted to just go with it. And it was pretty great. We proceeded to have the best time ever. We talked and laughed and held hands and had a great time. Oh wait, this is me that we’re talking about. None of that happened. Because he cancelled on me. Again. The day before our date. Again.

Again it was a very valid excuse. Someone in his family was just diagnosed with a serious illness. I completely get it. Take a week or so to wrap your head around it and get a handle on the diagnosis and treatment plan. Cancel temporarily. Postpone for a week or so. After telling me how his relationship with this certain relative has never been great and after telling me that he feels obligated, I told him that he was doing the right thing. We spoke for a few more minutes and then hung up.

And then it hit me. He didn’t cancel temporarily on me. He cancelled INDEFINITELY on me. AGAIN. WTF? I get the being upset. I get the feeling of obligation. What I don’t get is cancelling on someone who you were supposedly overly excited to meet. The dots just don’t connect. I had a weird feeling all of last week. We had texted all throughout the weekend, but then nothing for the next 4 days until I was the one to check in to reconfirm our plans. Although he has claimed to never have lied to me and I have never doubted his intentions to meet, I feel there is something else at play. It just doesn’t make sense. Is he back with his ex? Did he meet someone new (again) before we could meet? Does he really just completely shut down when something bad happens? I sort of want to talk to him and just ask if there is something else going on instead of just assuming the worst. But I won’t. Even after 4 months of corresponding, I have no right. He owes me nothing.

You know what alerted me to the fact that he cancelled not temporarily on me, but indefinitely on me? He ended the conversation with ‘hopefully no one will have snatched you up by then’. Super.


6 Responses to “I Hope No One Snatches You Up”

  1. Cheryl Says:

    So sorry to hear it. I wouldn’t give him one more minute of my time. He seems to enjoy toying with people and I wouldn’t believe any of his stories, of the great third date or the sick relative. Write him off.

    I guess this just confirms the common wisdom, as you say, of not talking/texting too much before first meeting. Some people seem to like virtual relationships.

    • I had made the same decision Cheryl. Although I truly try to see the best in everyone and assume they have good intentions, it just seems like he’s playing with me. And I sure as shit don’t deserve that…… *sigh*

  2. Absolutely 😟. I was excited about meeting him. Boo

  3. I remember those frustrating situations. Sorry you are going through that. Disappointing feeling for sure.
    I was once in your shoes not too long ago. Please keep the faith. You will meet the right person. You may be blocking them however. I was blocking love from my life for a very long time. Over time, I figured out what I was doing and worked on it. I wrote about it in my book which I hope will help others allow love in. It will be free Febuary 12 and 13th. Here is the link:

    Please feel free to contact me.

  4. […] Repo Man?  The seemingly great guy from Bumble that I never actually met?  The one who started a […]

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