43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I Think I’m Dating A 13 Year Old Girl May 16, 2017

No, not really, but I knew that would get your attention. 😉 As is my new MO when writing a post, I justify my absence as ‘nothing interesting going on’.  This time, however, I have not written in a while because I have A LOT going on.  Big changes are in the works.  BIG.  Not ready to divulge the details as of yet, so for now, I will update you on the average 49 year old’s adventures on Bumble.  I have 3, count ’em, 3 whopping bachelors to fill you in on.

As the universe, and several select big mouthed friends have suggested (and by suggested, I mean they full on insult me and think nothing of it), I need to expand my horizons when considering men.  As I’ve explained umpteen times before, I am open to all sorts of men.  Tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, cute ones, not so cute ones, quirky ones and just about every other option out there.  Oh, aside from incarcerated.  Or drug addicted.  Oh yeah, or smokers.  Sorry, not kissing an ashtray.  I really do care more about personality, kindness and intelligence more than looks.

Anywho, bachelor #1 is sweet as can be.  We have a lot of personality traits in common.  He’s smart and considerate and kind.  He also sends me at least one selfie a day.  Uhm, what?  I don’t understand that.  I don’t take, nor do I send, selfies.  As we’ve already met in person, I know what he looks like.  I can’t quite figure out the thought process behind this constant influx of selfies.  After the first couple, I responded with ‘cute’ or ‘love that shirt’.  After the 10th, I just don’t respond anymore.  It’s just weird.  I don’t know what to say.  They’re all PG, mind you, but still.  We met last Monday for cocktails and he was as cute and interesting in person as I expected him to be.  He was also every inch shorter than me that I feared.  As in six.  Six inches.  (*insert that’s what she said joke here) SIX INCHES shorter than I am.  Can’t do it.  He is almost literally half my size in every regard.  I hope he understood my ‘friend vibe’, but I fear he didn’t.  He even toasted to ‘new friends’ when we met.  That tells me he gets it.  The deluge of selfies and ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts however, does not.

Bachelor #2 I think I am going to opt out of meeting.  He too likes to send selfies.  He too is shorter than me (but only by 3 inches).  He also seems exceptionally self involved and keeps telling me how awesome a friend and person he is.  Okaaaaaay.  Contrary to popular belief, I do actually think the best of people until they prove me wrong.  I do feel that people that announce certain traits of theirs are a bit disingenuous.  Why would you announce that you’re not a player?  Why would you announce that you’re an amazing friend?  Why would you announce that you’re very protective of all your 437 female friends?  Maybe it’s just me, but I think those that feel the need to announce how amazing they are, usually aren’t.  We also have a mutual acquaintance in common.  He thinks she’s awesome.  I think she’s a complete shit-show.  I’m just not getting a good ‘feel’ for this one.

Bachelor #3 I met last night and he is every bit as handsome as I had hoped.  He’s also every bit of his 6’2″ height.  I’ll tell you more about this one as I figure it out! 🙂

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6 Responses to “I Think I’m Dating A 13 Year Old Girl”

  1. Cheryl Says:

    I’m tall also, and the one thing I haven’t budged on is my height requirement. Shorter women have it far easier in that regard, since height doesn’t have to matter. Trying to find a man who is at least 5’11” is much harder. I’m laughing at the picture in my mind of you and your short date. I have many short girlfriends, and I find myself bending my knees and lowering down to their height when hugging them. Is that what you did, or didn’t it get that far?

  2. Mike Says:

    I hope you women looking for a guy 6′ or taller will one day realize how many great men you are sidelining from consideration. What other strict criteria do you have? Must he also earn six figures? Maybe these criteria (that really don’t matter, compared to other more important ones) are why you’re not married…

    Not all men behave in the ways the writer mentions in this article. She’s having a tough time meeting good ones, but for Heaven’s sake…what are her criteria? The 10/10 men are generally taken by their early 30s, and those of us who waited to marry and instead put effort into our careers aren’t going to settle for a woman who is a 7 or 8 in terms of emotional maturity, appearance, and how she treats us. As a single man, I focus more on whether a woman I date has the qualities that will make her a good wife while ALSO minimizing the chances for marital discord/divorce. Those qualities are much more important than her weight (though it is also a consideration, just far down the scale of importance.)

    Some of you women’s requirements of us men are just absurd, including the 6′ tall one. And the one dealing with income. There are so many more important things than those to a relationship… The comments about a man having to be over 6′ tall are just as offensive to us as comments such as a man’s refusal to date women who are “average” size (weight-wise) or bigger would be to you.

    • Hi Mike, thanks so much for your comment. I’m going to assume that you’re new to my blog otherwise you would know that everything is written with a self deprecating yet honest spin. If you were familiar with my blog you would know that I don’t have a ‘list’ of qualities that I’m looking for. Actually I do. Good hearted is the number one. I don’t care how much money a man makes or what kind of car he drives. Personality and chemistry are always important. Being as I’m 5’10” tall, height is a very valid concern of mine. I’ve dated men shorter than I am and would again. It’s uncomfortable for me, and probably him as well, to date someone who is 5 INCHES shorter than I am though. I believe you are either projecting or inferring the 6′ tall requirement, the ’10’ rating and the income requirement onto me. I’ve never said any of those things. Good hearted, smart, funny, easy going, and no chip on his shoulder are pretty important to me. That’s not too much to ask, now is it?

  3. Ummmm….yeah. I don’t get the selfie thing. It’s never (thank god) happened to me, but I would definitely be weirded out by that.


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