You knew it was coming. This is me, after all, right? Yea, that whole positivity thing for 2018 is on a bit of a hiatus. Try to control your shock and surprise.
So I ‘netflixed and chilled’. I thought I dodged another bullet. Just in case you’re keeping count, that would be twice. With the same guy. 1 for making out with him after the 1st date and 1 for going to his house on a random Wednesday afternoon and doing things that I normally wait WAY too long to do with a new guy.
But he texted after, so all is good, right? He texted that night. The next morning. The next evening and even the one after that. And then ………… nothing. Super. I texted to see if all was okay. He said he was sick. I asked if I could bring him anything and got a simple ‘no thanks’. After a few more days of no contact, I sent a semi lame ‘I hope you’re feeling better. Hopefully we can meet up this weekend as I’d like to find out more about you as I like what I know so far’. Oh shut up, I know it’s lame. I’m just not a game player. If I like a guy, I let him know it. Might actually have something to do with the fact why I’m still single. I realize men like the ‘chase’ and women who play hard to get. That’s just not me. Anyway, I sent the text and got back ‘I wish I was’. No reference to getting together or my invitation. Of course instead of assuming it was an oversight on his part (the guy is sick after all, right?), I assume it was intentional. Yes, I know, my mind works in sucky ways, but c’mon. Our texts had been waning and ‘old’ me was winning out over my new positive thinking, let the universe do it’s thing ‘new’ me. (side note: I actually wrote myself a post it that said ‘stop overthinking – he likes you – you’re a great catch’. I stuck it to my bathroom mirror where I would see it each day. And promptly invalidated all those positive thoughts.)
I hate the way my mind works. I hate how prideful I am sometimes. The guy was sick, right? It had been over a week since I’d heard from him, 2 weeks since I’d seen him, so of course I assumed (most likely rightly so) that he just wasn’t interested. You can still send a text when sick, right? Instead of just sending a text asking as much, I agonized over reasons in my head. Instead of just letting it go and accepting what it was, I wanted a reason. Oh god, this can’t end well ……………..