The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

It’s All About The Angles February 27, 2018

As long as I am being held captive at the airport with an apparently never departing flight, I figured I’d fill you in on the sad state of affairs that is my online dating life.

Mr. Vacation, who I met a good 2 weeks ago, has been texting from his vacay. As I was already semi annoyed by his lack of scheduling a 2nd date before he left, these latest unveilings have not been welcome.

Let’s backtrack to our 1st meeting. We met at a bar (duh) and had cocktails and chatted. We sat at a square table and instead of him sitting across from me, he sat next to me. Basically at a 90° angle to me. So pretty much, we were talking to the side of each other’s heads. I didn’t mind it at the time as I was able to steal glances at him and the left side of his head was kind of attractive. He had a beard and mustache, which I’m totally not into, but decided I might be able to deal.

His online pics are all closed mouth smiles. I KNOW BETTER! He sent me a selfie yesterday. A straight on one. One with a ‘real’ smile. Teeth and all. Fucked up, crooked teeth in all their glory. I can’t do bad teeth! I never know where to look when talking to someone with distractingly bad teeth. Dammit.

It gets worse. He just sent me another selfie. Apparently he decided to shave today. But only his beard. He has left a goddamned porn-stache circa 1975 AND a little soul patch. If there’s anything worse than a full beard (or any facial hair for that matter), it’s a fucking porn stache.

My interest is waning. A lot…..


4 Responses to “It’s All About The Angles”

  1. Darcy Says:

    Ewww. I can’t do bad teeth either.

  2. Porn stache hahahaha I’m rolling that’s hilarious. On the subject of teeth my friends always laugh at me because one of my criteria is that a guy I’m dating must have all his important teeth lol. I just find a nice smile so attractive, take Bruno Mars for example. When he smiles, I melt a little. Glad to know I’m not the only one that can’t do the teeth thing.

    • Nope, I think there are many of us that can’t do bad teeth. My friend said ‘teeth are the gateway to health’. I don’t know about that, but I want someone who can dazzle me with his smile!

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