Now, if you promise not to throw your computers out the window, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Ready? I hid my online profiles. Oh, what? You’re not surprised? Oh well. Here’s the thing. There are 2 men interested in me right now. That hasn’t happened in years. It just feels greedy and insincere to keep looking right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that either of these guys is ‘my one’, I just can’t see myself sitting across from yet another random online guy making small talk. K, now, back to my men. I am polar opposites with one and they are polar opposites of each other. In theory that would mean that Mr. England and I are very similar. Okay, so we are. Whatevs. Here’s a quick comparison of the 2:
Mr. England: we actually have very similar backgrounds. He’s funny and sweet and has a pretty damn interesting life. He also only apparently dresses in athletic wear. Like those shiny shorts and pants things. Me no likee. We laugh and talk and I make him completely nervous. How do I know this? Well, I asked him. And he told me so. He is super recently divorced and brand spanking new to online dating. He has no clue what he wants and I take every advantage of this fact to freak him out. He’s apparently a nervous wreck about ‘liking’ anyone. I have tried to let him know that it’s brand new. He should keep looking. We can keep dating, it doesn’t have to mean anything at this point. It’s much more fun, however, to profess my undying love to him and talk of ‘our’ future together and watch the look of panic in his eyes. It’s kind of funny. And I’m a bitch, so I keep doing it. What’s totally funny though is that each time I see him, he backs off more from making any inappropriate moves. He certainly tried on movie night (date #1) but not since then. I know he likes me. He knows he likes me. I know I should like him more than I do. I know that, head to head, he is the ‘better’ choice for me. I’m just not sure that I’m sexually attracted to him. Boo.
Mr. Out Of Town: yes, you all know about him ad nauseum. What you don’t know is how sweet he is. What good talks we have. How he’s trying really hard to ‘listen’ to what I say. He realizes how different we are. I broke one of my beloved crystals today. Well, it actually shattered into a million pieces and it kind of freaked me out. When I told him about it, he not only understood and empathized, but suggested I save all the pieces and we could leave one in each exotic destination that ‘we’ visit. Very sweet. He wants to work on improving our communication. Today, in the mail, I received a copy of ‘The 5 Love Languages’. I had mentioned the book when I last saw him and we were on completely different pages in the same discussion. He bought a copy for himself too. I think he really wants to try to figure out how to be a better version of himself. Not quite so self involved. To talk less and listen more. Anyway, I’m ridiculously excited to read the book. Pretty sure I know which ‘Love Language’ I am, but will be super cool to see and, moreso, to find out what he thinks his is (I already know what his is).
On paper, Mr. England is the one for me. My hormones tell me otherwise. It’s not like I have to choose either anytime soon, so this post isn’t about that, but as I was sitting at coffee today with Mr. England, hating what he was wearing, loving our conversations and being way too amused by the panic I see in his eyes, I was wondering why I don’t want to jump him like I do every SINGLE time I see (or even think about) Mr. Out of Town. The thought of Mr. England continuing to online date doesn’t bother me one bit. No, seriously, it doesn’t. We all know how much the thought of Mr. Out of Town continuing to date makes me insane.
Oh well, until push comes to shove, I will continue to see them both. And let them fight over me. Okay, that was WAY more self confident that I would ever be. It is kinda nice knowing that there are 2 men out there that think I’m pretty terrific though. Who knew?