So weird after all of my insane posts from last week that I walked up to Mr. OoT’s front door on Friday afternoon with absolutely no worries, qualms or neurosis. I just wanted to see. That’s all. Just see how we were together. To know, one way or the other, if this had any potential. Sure, he flip flopped on me every bit as much as I did him. I guess that’s just how we roll. And by ‘we’ I mean people with fucked up romantic histories that are scared of actually liking someone and opening themselves up to getting hurt.
I got to his place around 2pm. He didn’t have to pick up his son until 5. Hmmm, what to do for 3 hours? So many choices. We could annoy each other with questions, whys, why nots and other bullshit time wasters. We could sit around and stare at each other while having insane thoughts run through our heads. Or, best option of all, we could actually test this chemistry thing we had going on to see if it extended past kissing. Oooh, yes, that one please! *Please note that the man who adamantly declared his unwavering vow of celibacy initiated this (but, let’s be honest, I didn’t resist much). Not sure if I was hoping we’d click as much sexually as we did kissing or if I was hoping we wouldn’t. Pretty sure he wasn’t sure which he was hoping for either, but, thank you universe, we are every bit as insanely matched in all things naked sexy time as we are in kissing. I did ask him what the deal was with his big declaration of not sleeping with me and then initiating it. He said, and I quote ‘you would have won in the end anyway and we would have just wasted 3 days of doing this.’ Huh, can’t argue with that logic.
He thinks I’m beautiful. Like REALLY beautiful. I laugh every single time he tells me this as I just don’t think it’s true. I do love that HE thinks it’s true though. He doesn’t see my physical imperfections (of which there are many). He moves my hands when I try to cover something I don’t like. He tells me I don’t need to apologize for anything with him as he likes me just the way I am. Physically, at least. 😉 I know he likes my heart and humor and intelligence and stubbornness as well, just probably not as much as my boobs though. I wasn’t weird or self conscious with him. This is something new for me. Kinda wish it hadn’t have taken me 50 years to do.
This weekend was SO different from the whopping 2 times before when we were together. SO different from our (however amazing) phone conversations. SO different than I expected. It’s like the screening had stopped and we were both just enjoying the moments that we were having together without the bullshit and pressure of trying to figure things out for the long term. I do think that there is a chance he will freak himself out again in the future, but let’s hope that doesn’t happen for a while. For now, let’s hope the laughter (of which there was tons), openness (of which he is trying his best to do), adventures, familiarity, kindness, fun and frolick continue.
He has been sending very sweet text messages to me all day today. And all day yesterday, for that matter. He wants to know when he’ll get to see me again. As he leaves for 2 weeks of work next Wednesday, looks like my dog and I have another little roadtrip in our near future. Yey.