The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Feral Cats June 4, 2018

Filed under: dating,internet dating,karma,Mr. OoT,online dating,texting — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:01 am

I can’t believe I was only with Mr. OoT for 2 days over the weekend.  SO MUCH happened.  Not all of it good.  When I had left to see him on Friday, I was concerned that he was trying to fast track everything.  He’s overly effusive in how he feels about me (mixed with an awesome and very funny dash of direct hits on my bullshit) and I was worried that he was already planning our wedding.  Thankfully I was wrong.  One of the best things about Mr. OoT is that we can talk.  About anything.  And we usually do.  One of the worst things about him (besides his HORRIBLE memory and love of psychadelics) is that he’s a complete hottie.  No, really.  While he’s a damn pleasure to look at, this also means that he’s a hot property in town.  As in women are constantly throwing themselves at him (heretofore known as ‘throwing their cat at him’…..think about it)


Mr. OoT got a haircut on Tuesday.  Remember The Hairdresser?  Yeah, he went to her.  I had told him that I was okay with it.  It was just a haircut after all, right?  Little did I know ……. anyway, she apparently hit on him the entire time.  He, in his desire to be Mr. Nice Guy and apparently emulate TD to a fucking T, didn’t just tell her that he was seeing someone or not interested.  He didn’t want to hurt her feelings.  He just told her he was ‘busy’ when she asked him out.  She then asked him out for 2 weeks from now when he gets back from his work trip.  Again, he said he was busy.  And that was that.  Or he thought.


As he was telling  me about the haircut and cat throwing and thinking it was a done deal, I assured him that he would be hearing from her again.  Like a fucking alert went off in the universe, he received a text message from her within 60 seconds of me saying that.  Although I asked to see the text and asked him what it said, he deleted it.  Uhm, what the fuck?  Of course that sent huge red flags off in my head.  Why would he do that unless he had something to hide?  I told him as much and that it was a stupid thing to do as now I was pretty sure there was something incriminating in it that he didn’t want me to see.  he assured me there wasn’t.  He was pissed that she texted him.   He sent back that he ‘liked someone else’.  A complete teenage response if you ask me, but whatever.  What ensued was at least 5 more text messages from her.  About how much she likes him.  About a letter that she wrote him (what the fuck? how does she know where he lives?)


It was actually weird.  The messages made no sense (he let me see the ones after the 1st).  Mr. OoT was convinced that she had him mixed up with someone else and was texting the wrong person.  I, of course, was convinced that he was lying to me.  I asked him directly if he had slept with her.  If she had ever been to his place.  If he had seen her more than for those 2 dates and the latest haircut.  He swore up and down that none of it was true.  He kept saying how upset he was that ‘someone he didn’t care about was screwing up something with someone that he cared deeply about’.  A sweet comment if I wasn’t so fucking pissed and distrustful.


Damn if this didn’t hit me in every single one of my insecurities.  I had exactly 2 choices.  Either believe him and let it go, or believe that he was lying to me.  Super.  I have no reason to think that he’s lying to me.  I have to trust him on this.  After ignoring her subsequent messages, he finally sent back for her not to text him again and that he was dating someone else so wasn’t interested.  He then proceeded to make sure I was ‘okay’ the rest of the day……


I sure as shit hope I chose correctly.


7 Responses to “Feral Cats”

  1. kkatch22 Says:

    That’s a difficult one. If only he hadn’t just deleted the first text! Maybe an automatic reflex? I say, given the strides you’ve both made, give him the benefit of the doubt this time. But keep your antennas up.

  2. You’re in a ‘no right answer’ situation! All you can do is exactly what you are doing and be alert.

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