The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Well Shit June 19, 2018

Filed under: dating,internet dating,karma,Mr. OoT,online dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:47 am

No, literally.  As I’m certain you’re all tired of hearing me hem and haw about all the things that I need to talk to Mr. OoT about, I’m taking a break from that today and bringing up something much more important.  MUCH more.  It’s a problem I’ve had for as long as I can remember.  I’ve dragged it from relationship to relationship.  I don’t know what to do about it.  I need some advice.

 

As far as anyone I’ve ever ‘overnighted’ with knows, I don’t poop.  Ever.  How frikken’ embarrassing!  Seriously.  I go to great lengths not to go number 2 around anyone I’ve dated.  I stayed at TD’s summer house with him for an entire week and never once pooped in the townhouse.  I would always (ALWAYS) go to the clubhouse.  Do you know how difficult it is to keep having to come up for reasons to ‘take a walk’?

 

Same issue with Mr. OoT.  For all the 3 and 4 day weekends that we have spent together at his place, I have yet to poop there.  Luckily, he has a park right down the street that I can ‘take my dog for a walk’ and go visit.  It’s the most ludicrous thing in the universe.  Everyone poops.  It’s a natural body function.  I just find it exceptionally embarrassing and just won’t.

 

When is the appropriate time to give up the poop free act and actually befoul a man’s bathroom?

 

8 Responses to “Well Shit”

  1. kkatch22 Says:

    Dude, Amazon.com for travel size poopouri!! Small enough to fit even in your pocket. It’s the size of a chapstick. Spray before you go, no one will ever know. Or they might…and they will think your shit doesn’t stink…in fact it will smell like flowers, or lavender, or spice.

  2. I was going to recommend the same thing OR go before you shower (if you shower alone!) so the green fog can have time to dissipate!


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