No, literally. As I’m certain you’re all tired of hearing me hem and haw about all the things that I need to talk to Mr. OoT about, I’m taking a break from that today and bringing up something much more important. MUCH more. It’s a problem I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I’ve dragged it from relationship to relationship. I don’t know what to do about it. I need some advice.
As far as anyone I’ve ever ‘overnighted’ with knows, I don’t poop. Ever. How frikken’ embarrassing! Seriously. I go to great lengths not to go number 2 around anyone I’ve dated. I stayed at TD’s summer house with him for an entire week and never once pooped in the townhouse. I would always (ALWAYS) go to the clubhouse. Do you know how difficult it is to keep having to come up for reasons to ‘take a walk’?
Same issue with Mr. OoT. For all the 3 and 4 day weekends that we have spent together at his place, I have yet to poop there. Luckily, he has a park right down the street that I can ‘take my dog for a walk’ and go visit. It’s the most ludicrous thing in the universe. Everyone poops. It’s a natural body function. I just find it exceptionally embarrassing and just won’t.
When is the appropriate time to give up the poop free act and actually befoul a man’s bathroom?
The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater 
Dude, Amazon.com for travel size poopouri!! Small enough to fit even in your pocket. It’s the size of a chapstick. Spray before you go, no one will ever know. Or they might…and they will think your shit doesn’t stink…in fact it will smell like flowers, or lavender, or spice.
Uh, that’s a real thing? I thought it was just a 2am infomercial kinda product
No!! It’s real!! We have it in the bathroom in the US and in France! I have the pocket ones for when we travel!
Adding it to my Amazon shopping cart as I type! 🙂
And they have such fun names! Like Royal Flush, Potty Potion, etc
It’s all in the marketing 😉
I was going to recommend the same thing OR go before you shower (if you shower alone!) so the green fog can have time to dissipate!
Hahaha! Oh! Another great idea. There’s only so much cheese I can eat to ‘stop up the plumbing’ 😉