The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Well That Sucked June 20, 2018

Filed under: aura,dating,internet dating,karma,mexico,Mr. OoT,online dating,texting,vacation — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:38 am

So as I was talking to Mr. OoT last night, the subject of one of my favorite snarky weekly specials came up. Think along the lines of Steven Colbert. Only better. And more snarky. And British. And somewhat brilliant. I had spoken to Mr. OoT about this particular show MANY times. And by many, I mean no less than 5. I even sent him links. Anywhoo, I mention him last night and Mr. OoT says, completely obliviously, ‘who is that? you’ve never mentioned him before.” And I lost it.

Do you have ANY idea exactly how frustrating it is for someone that you’re involved with to remember pretty much NOTHING that you say? Let me tell you, it sucks. I don’t think he does it on purpose. I do think he might be partially brain dead. Okay, not really, but for fuck’s sake, write it down! All my good intentions of waiting until I see him to discuss our communication issues (of which he thinks there are none) flew out of the window. I wasn’t mad or hysterical or any of my awesome non self controlled versions. I just explained how FUCKING annoying it is for him to never remember. His favorite line is to ask for more examples than that one that started this. Then he says he didn’t realize that this particular show was so important to me. Completely missing the point of the discussion.

Earlier in the conversation we had been talking about scuba diving. And by ‘we’, I mean ‘he’. I had explained to him in the past that while I’m happy to be on the boat with him, I will not be getting in the water. That I am actually afraid to be in deep water. That I’m not the best swimmer and that not being able to see the bottom of ANY body of water is a no go for me (yup, even those creepy black bottom pools are out for me). Anywhoo, as he’s waxing poetic about how much I’m going to like scuba diving (what the fuck?), I clam up. This, my friends, is my new non-patented move when I am trying not to be a raging bitch with my response. I tell him that I won’t be enjoying scuba diving and he asks why. Honest to god. I tell him, for probably the 3rd time, my reason why and he says ‘oh, you’ve never mentioned that before. you’ve only said that you refused to go, but never given a reason why’. Uhm, no. That’s not what has happened. Ever.

I asked him if he thought we had difficulty communicating over the phone and he says, completely sincerely. That yes, he thinks we do because I NEVER SAY ANYTHING and that he knows nothing about me. Uhm……… We spoke a bit more and I flat out told him that we need to improve our communication. That he needs to figure out how the hell to retain information. It wasn’t the most productive conversation ever, but then again, he’ll probably not remember any of it anyways.

This, my friends, is why drugs are bad. VERY, VERY BAD.

I am off to Mexico for a week and think it’s good timing. Mr. OoT gets back from his 2 week work stint away tomorrow and gets to sit and miss me. And hopefully remember anything that we’ve ever talked about. How the hell can we be so good in person and so ridiculously bad when not? I’m not sure we’ll be able to figure it out. And this, despite everything I’ve bitched about, makes me incredibly sad.

Oh, and I got a text from Tinder guy last night. I opted not to respond …….

 

10 Responses to “Well That Sucked”

  1. Jeez I know people who have had strokes with better memory or better coping skills! You cannot be the only person who’s told him this – you’re a better person than me because I think I’d have bitten him at some point by now!
    I totally get it. My husband can do EXACTLY the same thing. My daughter moved to Georgia about 3 months ago. At least twice a week he says “where is she living now? Alabama?”
    I’ve taken to saying what’s the point in telling you because you aren’t paying attention anyway which IS every bit as hostile as it sounds! I’m offended by his blythe disregard of what I say if it’s not of absolute interest to him (that’s just one example.)
    I definitely resent it and whilst I’ve told him how I feel many times, eventually I’m going to go nuclear because I feel he’s just dismissing me as “she’ll get over it”
    This is a much bigger issue than he seems to think. Good luck getting that across to him!!
    PS: How the fuck do they exist at work? Are they just total misogynists?

  2. ppp1brain Says:

    I’m thinking this dude has selective memory –
    He remembers and loves the sexy time but may not be all invested beyond that – certainly the drugs don’t help …. sheesh …. this guy seems to be a special case all around

    Enjoy your time off!

  3. kkatch22 Says:

    Hey lady…just realized I didn’t give my two cents on this one! I’m slipping! But in the meantime…. https://wordpress.com/view/findingfrenchcharming.com


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