So, remember how I was so pissed at Mr. OoT for allowing me all of ONE day to come see me? How he said he was planning on coming up on Saturday and heading back home on Sunday? How he said he ‘wished’ he could spend more time? How he said he couldn’t because of his son and school? Turns out all these things are true. Want to know what else is true? That as soon as I heard him say these things I got pissed. I sort of shut down and got all self righteous.
My days of introspection are few and far between lately yet still alive and well. My days of knowing that there are probably better ways of dealing with things other than shutting down and acting like a child are always in the background. That I need to approach things from a place of positivity rather than one of negativity. Yet I don’t employ other means often. I kind of hate that my default is to get all butt hurt and pissy.
I had the brilliant idea of broaching the topic of Mr. OoT’s visit again a few days ago. This time, when he said he was planning on coming up on Saturday and leaving on Sunday, instead of getting offended and shutting down I said that I’d like him to consider staying longer. That although I love his son, that since I was about to leave for 3 months and that this would be the last time we’d get to see each other for a while, that he might consider leaving him at home and staying a bit longer. That he’d have a whole other entire week to spend with him before he went back to work and then 3 months of son-time while I was away. I got the oddest response. He agreed. He even sounded excited. He said that since he wasn’t going to bring his son, that it didn’t even need to be a weekend that he came to see me. That he would now come Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday. Three whole days!
Who knew? I should. I should know and remember that not everyone’s mind works the same way as mine. That things that seem so blatantly obvious to me don’t necessarily occur to others. That for all the times that I bash Mr. OoT for having a strange way of interpreting things and assuming that everyone’s minds work the same way as his, that I do the exact same thing. Super strange realization for me. I should know better.
So now, instead of only 1 night here with his son in tow, there will be 3 child free nights. We’ve already discussed plans. Day 1 will be for his ‘honey do’ list on things I need help with around the house and I will make us dinner (he loves when I cook). Day 2 will be lazy and then date night with dinner and a movie that night. (I told him he could choose the movie ….. god help me). Day 3 will be who knows what? I’m looking forward to it though.
It’s damn hard to teach old dogs new tricks…..pleasant, patient and gently persuasive is MUCH more effective than butt hurt and pouty. I need to try to remember that ……