43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Fireworks, Lies & Burgers July 11, 2019

So the plan was for Mr. OoT and I to spend a few days together in his hometown over the 4th of July.  I blocked out my calendar and didn’t take any jobs for 4 days.  4 whole days! Sounds ridiculous, right? 4 days would be the most time we’ve spent together (aside from trips taken) since last year.  We all know I hate his hometown.  As I realized we had been struggling (I’d have to be a complete moron not to), I opted to take the bullet. 😉

 

The day before he was supposed to come home from work (July 1st), we had a huge fight over the phone (over absolutely nothing) he basically told me to fuck off and never contact him again.  As that’s just not my style, I proceeded to call him back.  TEN times!  Feel free to unfollow me now.  In the space of being sent to voicemail ten times I spanned the breakup emotions: panic, fix it mode, super sad, super pissed and finally, just fucking embarrassed that I had reduced myself to this.

 

Okay fine.  We’re done.  Good riddance.  Too bad he owed me some $$$ that I needed to get from him. He’s always paid me back and I guess he could have paypal-ed it (I roll old school like that because, well, I’m old), but wanted the cash in my hand.

 

Long story short (HA, just kidding, are any of my stories short?), I saw him over the weekend.  July 6th, I think.  When I invited myself to his family’s bbq.  Damn, this story does NOT make me sound like a sane individual.  Moving on.  It comes out that he had taken some other girl to his family’s house on the 4th of July.  Uhm, what the ever living fuck?! Like just showed up with someone other than me when everyone was expecting me.  Like it was completely normal.

 

When I let him have it for that and tried (unsuccessfully) to explain how shitty it was for him to be able to move on so fast, he kept saying that it just happened.  It wasn’t planned. He wasn’t looking. She was a friend of a friend’s girlfriend.  It was a set up.  It all sounded like bullshit to me.  And was.  Come to find out (via snooping through his phone like a psycho) that he had been chatting with her since March when we were broken up (that’s when the initial ‘set up’ took place, so being as he thrives on word games and technicalities, he wasn’t lying about the ‘set up’ part, just the timing. Asshole).  He didn’t chat with her for a few months, but I noted, while being a super sleuth psycho, that he started back up talking to her in May and then started hard core flirting in June.  Before said July 1st breakup.

 

The messages were flirty and familiar.  Like they HAD met before.  Like he HAD been to her house.  Like she HAD been to his. All things he denied.  His main arguing point (aside from the complete violation of trust thing in going thru his phone which he was trying to flip onto me being the bad person) was that we were broken up.  Uhm, but we weren’t in May.  Or in June.  His whole ‘it just happened and I met her for the 1st time on the 4th of July’ was a lie.  A big one. While he did just meet her in person last week, he HAS been to her house.  She HAS been to his.  There was some sort of a sleepover situation on the 4th of July.  All things I found out via snooping, not his owning up.

 

All a moot point now as we’re done. For him to have moved on so quickly and to have basically arranged his ‘plan B’ before we were even done makes him a horrible human being.  Not telling me makes him a horrible human being. For as intelligent as Mr. OoT is, he has some huge dumbass tendencies.  #1 being his ability to underestimate me.  He has ‘tells’.  A lot of them.  I like puzzles.  When a piece doesn’t fit, I figure it out. I knew something was going on.  I knew he had someone else waiting in the wings.  I should have been the one to pull the plug……

 

9 Responses to “Fireworks, Lies & Burgers”

  1. Wow….what did I just read?

  2. Colleen Says:

    As a reader from the beginning, these last few days, I have seriously been screaming at my iPhone or computer, “What the serious fuck?”

    But I’m a “fixer” and a “puzzle solver,” as well, so I understand the energy you committed to making it work, Grey.

    It’s inevitable that you’ll hear from Mr. OoT. I’m hopeful that you’ll have the confidence and resolve to handle THAT, in whatever way you truly want, when that inevitable happens.

    And hey, don’t be a stranger. I’ve missed your posts.

    • I will hear from Mr. OoT again (and already have), but will not (hopefully) waver in my stance. He needs to get some help and work thru his issues. I did almost all the work in our relationship and that isn’t good. Let’s hope I do better with the next one and demand (not literally) more. More time, more effort, more kindness and a hell of a lot less roller coaster 💕

  3. You know what? It’s all good. You have answers not loose ends. I’m pretty damn sure you don’t do the sleuthing on a normal basis and I’m equally sure you’ll spot the asshole warnings earlier next time and not make the excuses you did for him. Onwards and upwards! Vent all you want, he’s the loser. He has to look at himself every day and you don’t. I call that a big fat win!

  4. Ugh – he’s not the one for you.


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