The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

“A” For Effort July 20, 2019

Or maybe, too little too late.  As I still haven’t told Mr. OoT to completely fuck off (am I waiting for a miracle?), he texts me most days.  Most days I don’t respond.  When I do, they are short, not so sweet and completely disconnected.  He phones me almost every day.  Almost every day I send him to voicemail.  I warned him once that if I get to the ‘shut down’ phase, it’s pretty impossible to get me to care again.  I’m kinda there.  Although I do still care, kind of, there’s no need for him to know that.


He sends me apologies, please forgive me’s, I’ll change(s) and a multitude of other niceties.  He talks of my upcoming birthday and future trips we’ll take together.  He talks of the future and how he’ll do everything possible to make me happy.  I never respond to these message.  They make me sad.  And a bit annoyed.  I gave him over a year to step up.  He didn’t.


He’s competitive.  Not sure if all these niceties are because he truly means them or he just wants to ‘win’.  I refuse to get back on the roller coaster.  Today’s apology was a good one.  He’s a huge music lover.  We’ve always exchanged UTube links to different songs that we like.  Songs that mean something to us.  Songs that make us happy.  Songs that tell the story of the day.


Today he sent me the link to The Petshop Boys “Always on my mind”, complete with lyrics.  It was sweet and sad and made me tear up just a little.  Too little, too late indeed ….


2 Responses to ““A” For Effort”

  1. KB Says:

    Ah Grey, they always pull out all the stops when ‘shut down’ has been reached. This bit always should simply reaffirm your choice to close him off: if Mr OoT meant the post shut-down comments and it was natural then he’d have done it before. If he’d used those thoughtful comments/you tube clips/song lyrics/evocative memories previously then chances are the outcome might have been different. The fact that he didn’t means it’s an effort and he’s just trying methods outside of his comfort zone. In reality, Mr OoT is missing you making him feel better about himself as opposed to him actually trying do something that might make you feel better/attractive/worthy/insert anything remotely appropriate here!!

    Way too little way too late. Maybe you should send him the You Tube clip for ‘Candle in the Wind’ given that he likes them so much and he let the flame die out!!

  2. Maybe you should send him ‘Goodbye Earl’ or ‘It’s Raining Men’ or ‘Get Along Without You Now’ !!

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