Or maybe, too little too late. As I still haven’t told Mr. OoT to completely fuck off (am I waiting for a miracle?), he texts me most days. Most days I don’t respond. When I do, they are short, not so sweet and completely disconnected. He phones me almost every day. Almost every day I send him to voicemail. I warned him once that if I get to the ‘shut down’ phase, it’s pretty impossible to get me to care again. I’m kinda there. Although I do still care, kind of, there’s no need for him to know that.
He sends me apologies, please forgive me’s, I’ll change(s) and a multitude of other niceties. He talks of my upcoming birthday and future trips we’ll take together. He talks of the future and how he’ll do everything possible to make me happy. I never respond to these message. They make me sad. And a bit annoyed. I gave him over a year to step up. He didn’t.
He’s competitive. Not sure if all these niceties are because he truly means them or he just wants to ‘win’. I refuse to get back on the roller coaster. Today’s apology was a good one. He’s a huge music lover. We’ve always exchanged UTube links to different songs that we like. Songs that mean something to us. Songs that make us happy. Songs that tell the story of the day.
Today he sent me the link to The Petshop Boys “Always on my mind”, complete with lyrics. It was sweet and sad and made me tear up just a little. Too little, too late indeed ….