So read Mr. OoT’s last text to me. Well of course you do, you big dumbass. You had a year and half (actually, almost 2 years) to step up and at least TRY to get some help with your issues, but no, it was all too ‘inconvenient’ for you. I just wasn’t worth it for you to put in the effort. Idiot.
He had sent me a text with a link to a dishwasher the other day. I ignored it. I know what he was doing. He counted on me to help him replace all his piece of shit appliances in his new piece of shit house. To let him know what would look best. To find the best deal. To make sure all would work. You see, Mr. OoT isn’t big on details. I think he probably reads every 3rd word (at best) when reading descriptions (or my texts, for that matter). The last time he ordered an appliance online, ‘it got delivered in the wrong color’. No, my friend. No it didn’t. You failed to notice that the microwave you were purchasing was Almond in color, not white.
The fact that Mr. OoT’s favorite time to online shop is at night when high, it came as no surprise. I actually had to keep myself from laughing the day the microwave got delivered and he removed it from the box. He was SO pissed! Anywhoo, back to this dishwasher. It was an 18″ one. Most people know that a standard dishwasher is either 23 or 24 inches across. For those that don’t, reading the product description as ‘compact version will fit in smaller spaces’ might be a bit of a tip-off. This ALL escaped his notice.
He sent me a follow up message the next day asking “yes or no?” I had more than half a mind to give him the thumbs up so he would order it and be super pissed/surprised when this mini version arrived. As I’m not (always) a complete bitch, I wrote back that it would be better for him to order a standard sized dishwasher. He had NO CLUE that dishwashers come in different sizes. *sigh*
He then thanked me for pointing that out, said he would try not to bother me so much and then, as a separate text, sent an “I miss you” and a crying emoji. I think by the time I am completely over all of this will be 3 seconds before we board our international flight together next month. And then I can start the whole process over again. *sigh*