The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

The Date…. March 31, 2022

Filed under: bumble,dating,dinner out,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 10:07 am
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And not the one I was planning on either. My date with The Professor that was supposed to happen on Monday did not. Big surprise. He texted to say that he came home from work early as he wasn’t feeling well but wanted to reschedule very soon. I replied with ‘I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well. I hope you feel better and yes, let’s reschedule soon!’. It’s now Thursday and I have yet to hear back. Which, of course, must mean he is in the hospital where they confiscated his phone and have him so drugged up that his pleas to get in touch with me are going unheeded. Right? There could be no other explanation for his silence…..

I have been chatting with many men. Par for the course on online dating, the majority don’t go past the 1st few exchanges. Or, to be perfectly honest, the 1st exchange. And that’s okay. As I want someone who puts forth the effort to get to know me/move things forward, I am unwilling to make all the effort. If someone wants to get to know me, they will engage me in conversation and show interest. I no longer want to be the one ‘driving the bus’.

Anywhoo, one of the gents I was chatting with asked me to dinner after just a few messages. Hey, I like dinner! And I like someone who jumps in and isn’t afraid to meet in person without exchanging messages for weeks on end. We met last night. I will call him Mr. Earnest. He is in a place in his life where he is trying to recreate himself. He’s new to town, trying a new profession, not so distantly out of a long term relationship and genuinely trying to better himself. He’s had quite the past and hasn’t always been dealt the best of cards. He’s doing his best though to play those cards well. The old me would jump on board and take on this new project to help him be the best version of who he can be and encourage him every step of the way. The present me just doesn’t want to. I don’t want the drama or work that goes along with someone trying to find himself. While the food and conversation were great, it was absolutely a friend vibe and I took heed of all the red flags. As we were chatting (he WAY overshared about every single aspect of his past and it was a bit overwhelming), I kept steering conversation into a ‘friendship zone’. He then asked me how I like my eggs cooked in the morning. I blushed like a complete schoolgirl. It threw me off and I was a bit flustered after that. We hugged goodbye and he suggested we get together again. While the old me would have agreed because, again, I like food and love a good project, the current me just isn’t up for it. I sent him a message this morning explaining that I feel that we are in different places in our lives and didn’t think we were a good match. I wished him well and told him he deserves someone wonderful (because, after all, don’t we all? or at least most of us?). He just responded. I haven’t looked yet to see what it says…..

 

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