Remember a few years ago when I waxed poetic about WAY too many men online dating seemingly just looking for pen pals? Yeah, some things never change. I realize that the message to date ratio is relatively low, but c’mon people! I must have 20 different chats going. And by going, I mean sitting stagnant in my inbox *snicker* as I refuse to keep messaging ad nausea without any attempt or suggestion at meeting.
I have been messaging back and forth with a seemingly great guy who is funny, well traveled, has children of appropriate age and who uses proper punctuation. The only red flag is that he writes things like *blush*, *lol* and other such weirdness. By ‘red flag’, I of course mean, mildly weird and annoying, not an actual red flag. Anywhoo, we have messaged for well over a week with NO mention of meeting up. I have decided that this go around (20th? 22nd?), I will not be the one to suggest meeting. That if a man wants to meet, he needs to suggest it. I’m worth at least that much effort, right? This mindset isn’t going too well for me, btw. Anyway, one of his last messages to me was ‘thank you for that suggestion (we were talking about what to make for dinner), I owe you a drink’ which I jumped for joy at! Yey, he’s finally going to ask to meet! I responded ‘you’re very welcome and I will absolutely accept that offer of a drink’. And ……….. nothing.
While I understand the nerve wracking-ness of asking a potential date out in person, I feel the whole online thing sort of diminishes this. Sure, no one likes being turned down, but you know what else no one likes? Exchanging message forever!
So far my 2022 scorecard, for those playing at home, is 2 dates when I was in my happy place at the beach. 1 for lunch, 1 for drinks and 2 dates since I’ve been back home. 1 for dinner and 1 for coffee. How many 2nd dates? Well, that would be none. Granted, I am the one to have turned down the offer of a 2nd date with dinner guy, but he had many more legitimate red flags than writing *blush* in a message. Which, oddly, he also did ……… huh.
I reckon the very likely (hopefully) possibility for the act of writing out *blush*/*lol*/etc is because of the difficulty to convey tone in text…more-so when trying to be playful or cheeky.
HOWEVER – this guy could also be absolutely clueless in general because you served him up the perfect opportunity to arrange a drink date rather than providing crickets.
Nice to know that at least 1 person is still reading 🙃 I love our little chats! You’re right, maybe he was trying to be playful. My money is on clueless though. I’ll never understand why people do this. Suggest getting together (or just eluding to it) and then disappearing 🤦🏼♀️ I went thru and deleted every match last night that is seemingly going nowhere 🤷🏼♀️ *I am giving this one until Friday to reappear but then he’s deleted too*