43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I’ve Done Something February 21, 2018

Something that may either be a good idea or the worst idea on the planet. Something that my friends are split between wanting to smack me in the head for or cheer me on for. Something that may end my week on a high note or may just ruin everything. Something that I am surprised by, but trying not to get excited about. Something that I have the next 3 days to worry about, overthink, get excited about, obsess about and generally run through every single possible ‘what if’ about.

I am going to embrace my long forgotten 2018 mantra of leaving shit up to the universe and not always being a neurotic shit show when it comes to things I want. What could possibly go wrong???

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Baseball Schedule February 15, 2018

Filed under: bumble,dating,dinner out,internet dating,online dating,single,texting,tinder — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:58 pm

Oh, oops, sorry to all of those that happened upon this post in search of actual baseball information.  Let’s be honest though, the name of this blog should have been a big clue that you weren’t going to find the ‘sportiest’ of posts.  So today I have a double header.  Yup, I’m THAT gal.  Get over it.  Both of these men asked me out for yesterday, but sorry, a 1st date on Valentine’s Day is just weird.  And as I had a lovely invitation from my 65 year old and above single lady neighbors to come for dinner, I went there.  And had a surprisingly good time.  I’ve never felt so young in my life, but I digress.

 

First up in my overly scheduled day today is Mr. Red.  Yup, another ginger.  You all know how I love me a ginger.  As I am just about over this round of online dating before leaving town for a week (thank GOD!), I was neither excited, nervous, nor even apathetic about it.  It was a lunch date. What?  A girl’s gotta eat and he invited me for one of my favorite foods.  As I knew he had to get back to work, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?  Well, to be honest, no, it wasn’t bad at all.  He is 3″ TALLER than I am and a nice guy.  All 6’1″ of his pale and freckled self.

 

Lunch was yummy, conversation was decent and I didn’t want to avert eye contact or run away screaming (oh how my standards have lowered).  While not mind bogglingly attracted, I could see myself kissing him.  As this was actually a Tinder date, I also needed to try and figure out, during our 78 minute long lunch date, if I could see myself more than kissing him.  Eh, as he was exceptionally complimentary, seems to think I’m really attractive and have a great ass (thank you tight jeans), I might just be able to.

 

Maybe.  With enough cocktails.  And darkness.  Maybe this will be the confidence boost that I need.  He’s a Tinder guy.  While not as crass or douchee as most, he’s not looking for a relationship I don’t think.  As he’s already asked me some overly ‘familiar’ questions, I know what he’s in this for.  That kind of removes my whole overthinking, neurotic, weirdly obsessive self.  I guess we’ll see.

 

Excuse me now while I get ready for tonight’s date with Plenty of Fish guy ….. look at me go!

 

Dating By Numbers February 13, 2018

This is one of my all time favorite blog posts from waaaaay back in 2011 when I used to be able to write in an entertaining fashion and had high hopes of meeting my ‘one’ soon.  Ish. I shudder to think what my numbers are now, 7 years later.

For everyone mucking through the sometimes soul crushing tough world of online dating, take a peek & I’m guessing you won’t feel quite so bad about your luck, or lack thereof…..

Date By Numbers

 

Just This Once….. February 11, 2018

So these days I date.  A lot apparently.  It’s sort of a part time job right now.  If by ‘job’ I mean a low paying, time consuming, frustrating and disappointing way to spend my time. But does it really count as ‘dating’ if I only meet each man once?  I don’t think that counts as dating.  I think it counts as 8 (well 9 by the time this publishes) men that I’ve met.  9 men that I’ve been ‘interviewed’ by.  9 men that have screened me to see if I would meet their requirements for a future whatever.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve done the exact same thing.  Only, let’s be honest, I was more jovial, conversational and a hell of a lot less awkward than most of them were.  I went into each date with fairly low expectations.  I prefer to set expectations low and be pleasantly surprised than than to get excited and ultimately disappointed.  It’s just what works for me and how I roll.  Don’t judge.

There was one that I got excited about meeting.  Well, actually 2, but you all don’t know about the other one.  Oh wait, you do.  It just didn’t register as quickly because I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself with him.  I was excited about meeting the 1st one but could tell  pretty much off the bat that there was nothing there.  Number 2 threw me for a loop.  I didn’t think there was anything there on his part and then, surprise!  There was.  Too bad it was more of a booty call interest than a dating one.  Oh well, live and learn.  Or not, in my case.

So I have a date on Monday.  With a man that I have been messaging with for 2 weeks, which I normally won’t do.  A man that I have wanted to ask me out for over a week.  A man that writes me long messages, has a killer vocabulary (I find that a huge turn on – yes, I’m still a nerd at heart) and who just seems nice.  Contrary to popular belief, I like nice.  There is less of a chance that they will turn into assholes and play mind games.  I hope.

I swore I would run the other direction if I met someone that I had chemistry with.  That I would run far and fast rather than stay and turn into the crazed nut-bag that I have proven myself to be when I liked someone.  Luckily, or not, this new promise of mine has yet to be tested.

Oh shit!  It’s actually 10 men that I’ve met since December 31st.  That is a lot.  I deserve a raise.  I wasn’t really excited about meeting 8 of the 10.  I AM excited to meet this one.  I’m allowing myself that…..this can’t end well 😉

 

Mr. Nice Guy February 10, 2018

Filed under: dating,dinner out,driking,interent dating,internet dating,karma,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:10 am

He truly was.  He was polite and complimentary and even brought me a gift.  Who does that?  He has traditional values, is respectful and kind and not only asked me some really interesting questions, but listened for the answers.

I usually try to make my dates fun.  It deflects from my dates asking me anything personal.  Yes, believe it or not, I have some significant walls built up around me that it would take the most patient of men to penetrate.  I use my humor and self deprecation to never actually answer a question that is posed directly to me.  I blab more on this blog than I ever have.  To anyone.  And even at that, there are many many things that I don’t even share on here.

Back to the date. We had a great conversation.  We talked about all sorts of topics.  He is a very kind man who has had women take advantage of him in the past.  He told me the stories and I honestly couldn’t believe it.  Not that the women were so shitty, but that he didn’t see them coming from a mile a way.  It actually crossed my mind, for a fraction of a millisecond, that if I was one of ‘those’ women, that I could convince myself (and him) that we were a good match.

We aren’t.  He’s very straight-laced and very right-winged.  While not being a raging liberal, we definitely have some differing views.  If I was into him, I’m sure I could figure out a way to work around such opposing views, but the fact of the matter is that although he was a terrific guy, I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to kiss him.  It was more like I wanted to give him a hug.  And protect him from the next woman that will inevitably take advantage of him.  As I drove home I was a bit sad.  And wracking my brain for a nice woman to set him up with!

 

Fast Track, Part 2 February 9, 2018

Hey, I’m just as surprised as you are that there is a part 2 to this.   The recap of my date from last night will have to wait while I continue to overthink the offhanded comment made by my friend and proceed to write another annoyingly introspective post that isn’t in the least bit interesting or entertaining.  You’ve been warned.

For those of you that actually have a life and have not been with me since the beginning of this, what I hoped would be, short lived blog over the past 7 years (that honestly just hurt me to type that), here’s a quick recap of all things Grey Goose.

I was bullied as a kid (and I do NOT take that term lightly).  Up until junior year of high school I would cry almost daily.  I was the world’s biggest nerd in high school.  I sort of came into my own in college and had THE BEST TIME of my life.   I decided to tell everyone that made fun of me in the past to, quite literally, fuck off.  I was fun and flirty and skinny and pretty and snarky and had a bazillion friends and ‘friends’.  I never worried about guys.  I lived my life like a guy.  I was the love them and leave them one.  I never obsessed.  I never fixated.  Then I grew up.  Damn.

I’ve had several long term relationships in my life.  Most of them were not, upon looking back, good ones.  They all chipped away at ‘me’ and I allowed it.  Somewhere along the way I began to believe what they told me instead of what I knew to be true. Boo.

It hasn’t been since my 20s that I have met and dated men ‘organically’.  It’s been a very long time since a handsome man sidled up next to me at a bar, or on the street and struck up a conversation.  Okay, well, to be honest, I’ve been told that men were hitting on me but for some unknown reason, I am incapable of picking up on clues.  I honestly have no idea how many terrific, or not so terrific, men I could have gotten to know if I’d only paid attention.

I have never been called ‘cute’.  I have been called beautiful.  I always wanted to be cute, damn it.  It’s not about looks.  I’ve been skinny.  I’ve had a killer body.  I’ve been fat.  I’ve been in between.  It’s not about weight.  I have a quirky style of dress.  Fun, funky, flirty and age appropriate.  It’s not about that.  I have a pretty good personality.  I’m still fun and funny, smart and good hearted.  I sometimes forget this part.

I have been self employed for more than 20 years.  There was no office in which to meet and mingle.  So weird.  Online dating is a bit of a ‘necessary evil’ I feel.  I don’t hang out in bars anymore.  I don’t frequent singles events.  I don’t hang out in the frozen food section of my local grocery store waiting to shove my shopping cart into that of a handsome stranger.  This is how I know to meet people.

I look around and see all types of people from all walks of life coupled up.  At times I let this sadden me but, by and large, I use it as an example that there is truly someone for everyone.  I honestly believe that.  I just don’t know how to go about meeting mine.  Now, before anyone opts to blurt out that amazingly infuriating ‘you’ll meet him when you’re not looking’, I think that is a huge load of bullshit and I think it’s a f*ing smug thing to say.  I do go about my life.  I do take chances.  I do things that I like without the thought of ‘I hope I meet a guy doing this’.

My date last night asked me, after listening to me tell him about where I am in life and what my plans are for the future, ‘well, where does a man fit into all of this’ and for the life of me I couldn’t answer.  No one has ever asked me this before.  I guess I always assumed that when I met the right man, things would just ‘fit’.  Fast track or not, I’m apparently as confused as ever …………. super

 

 

The Ginger February 6, 2018

I love me a good ginger.  No, really.  No clue what it is about red haired men, but I just love them.  I find them quirky and funny and by and large, just really good guys.  So of course when I was sitting at a friend’s house and we were companionably swiping on our Bumble options side by side, we came across the same cute ginger at the same time.  While I went ‘yey, a ginger!’ she went ‘bleck’.  Oh well, that’s what makes the world go round, I guess.  Left swipes and Right ones (figuratively and literally).

I messaged back and forth with The Ginger for a while and discovered that he’s not actually from here.  Oh.  Boo.  He travels for business.  I called him out on having a bumble in every port and he clarified that it’s a fun way to meet a new friend for a drink when traveling.  Oh, okay.  Makes sense.  I totally believed him (which, as you know, it’s not a strong point of mine) and asked when he was leaving town.

I ended up meeting him the next night for drinks at a place that I chose.  He was adorable.  In a total Richie Cunningham sort of way.  For those of you that are too young to understand that reference, fuck off your loss.  It was a bit stilted and awkward at 1st, but either due to the vodka sodas or just feeling more comfortable with one another, it turned into a great date!!  We ended up staying for hours; talking, laughing, telling stories and just generally having a really good time.  No clue if there were any sparks (on either end), but as he doesn’t live here anyway, I took it for what it was.  A really fun evening.  We ended up exchanging numbers and said we’d keep in touch.

Now, if only I could have a date that good with someone local………..