43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

He Made The Flight January 13, 2019

I KNOW! I’m just as surprised as everyone else! His flight to come visit me left at 6am.  2 hours from his home.  We all know how Mr. OoT loves to sleep.  When I found out that he was planning on NOT driving to the town the airport was in the night prior and staying in a hotel nearby and was instead planning on waking up at 2am and being on the road by 2:30am I instinctively knew he wouldn’t make the flight.  Much to my surprise and delight, he did!

 

He and his 15 year old son arrived to my 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo on the beach right on schedule.  To say it was cozy would be an understatement.  It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared though.  They were both respectful of their messes (they’re boys, after all) and even managed to put the toilet seat down almost ever time.  Besides stupidity, being late and a complete lack of patience for repeating myself, leaving the toilet seat up is pretty darn high on my list of pet peeves.

 

We had fun.  We ate some great food, bought every single Mexican blanket we could find and, after discovering that there’s a weird lack of pure vanilla extract in the states, bought up all we could find here so Mr. OoT could gift it to his sisters.  After their 6 day visit, I drove them 4 hours to the airport and overnighted in what turned out to be THE scariest hotel I could find.  I guess my sense of cheapness for paying for things that aren’t important needs to be shifted to include clean & safe hotels in non drug addled areas of town.  Go figure.

 

Mr. Oot is back at work and we talk multiple times a day.  He’s making changes.  Good ones.  While we’ll apparently always be polar opposites when it comes to anything religious, evolutionary or drug related, we are finding more ‘safe’ grounds and finally, after almost a year (holy shit, who thought it would last this long?), letting our walls down.  A little.  Any progress is still progress, right?

 

He’ll fly back down in about 5 weeks to help me pack up and drive the 1,200 miles home.  Sorry for being MIA.  My days here pretty much consist of sand, sun, seashells and sleeping in.  Who wants to hear about that? 😉

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And So It Begins November 22, 2018

Yesterday I arrived, after a brutal 16 hour drive, complete with a car packed to the gils, my beloved doggie and a full bladder to my sister’s house.  When I left my home, at the lovely hour of 5am it was 23 degrees.  Upon arrival to my sister’s, it was 72 degrees.

 

I am headed to the beach on Monday.  I have a wedding to go to today and plans to see friends tomorrow.

 

You all don’t really care about that now, do you?  You’re here to read about how my last visit with Mr. OoT went.  He visited for 2 days.  It was a good visit.  He helped me get the house in order and offered to help with several other things (that he mysteriously ended up sleeping through).  Mr. OoT needs explicit instruction and a bit of prodding to actually accomplish anything that he has promised.  His intentions are good.  His follow through needs a bit of help.

 

Day one we puttered around the house.  Did tons of yard work, checked gutters, changed light bulbs, cleared out the crawl space.  You know, romantic stuff.  I made us dinner and then we sat in the back yard, all bundled up, by my fire pit.  Now the ‘idea’ of a fire pit on a cold night is much better than the actuality of one.  Maybe it was the sad singular duraflame log that I used, but still.

 

Day 2 we ran a few errands and then had a proper date night.  Happy hour (my FAVORITE hour) and a movie.  We wandered around a cute upscale shopping area and had a kind stranger take some cute pics of us.  Mr. OoT doesn’t drink.  He has always said he doesn’t mind if I do.  He has been sober since the age of 19.  We only go to happy hours at nice restaurants.  Places that don’t feel like a ‘bar’.  The place we went has amazing food and an indoor fireplace feature.  We sat by there and enjoyed some yummy food and great service.  I would never even think of taking Mr. OoT to a bar-bar.  You know, one complete with pool tables, the aroma of stale beer and a bunch a drunks.  I specifically choose places, on the rare occassion that we go, that are restaurant type places.  He says it felt an awful lot like a ‘bar’.  No clue what he’s talking about.  I think he doesn’t realize how often he minimizes the effort I put into making sure he’s okay with things.  Boo.

 

Day 3, we went out to breakfast before he left.  It was an interesting good bye.  We both try super hard to not let the other know how we’re feeling.  Kinda weird since he used to be overly effusive about that shit.  I told him that I’d miss him.  Probably more than I wished I would.  He said he’d miss me too.  Kind of.  I know he was kidding and that he will absolutely miss me a lot, but he refuses to just tell me without some shitty addition to the sentiment.

 

 

 

Just Admit It October 25, 2018

So silly. And annoying. When I say something and forget. Or when I say something and change my mind. Or when I say something that I regret. All have the same response and reaction from me. I apologize for forgetting, for changing my mind or regret saying. It seems so simple. SO. FUCKING. SIMPLE.

I don’t think I’m in in the minority when it comes to owning my shit. Maybe I am. When it is in regards to stupid shit though it’s just annoying as fuck to not have the other person just admit they forgot or changed their mind or never meant to say it in the first place. How hard is it to say those 4 simple words ‘I’m sorry, I forgot’.

For fuck sake. I talked to Mr. OoT yesterday about his coming to visit next weekend. He doesn’t like to be away from his son when he’s home, so it’s usually a given that he will come with on the rare occasion that Mr. OoT comes to my town. No biggie. I love that he loves his kids. Imagine my surprise and delight when Mr. OoT said (and I quote) “I may just leave him at home for the weekend, would that be okay?” Uhm, YES! I love his son, but this is the last weekend we’ll be able to spend time together before I leave for an extended period of time. When we were talking tonight, however, he mentioned his son being here. I told him that he had said he wasn’t bringing him and he then proceeded to tell me that I misunderstood. That I was wrong. That he never said that. That he was talking about Halloween night, not the weekend. That he never said he wasn’t going to bring his son. That he LOVES his son and doesn’t want to be away from him. Bullshit on the not being able to be away from his 15 year old son, btw (NOT that he loves him – ’cause he does. A lot) Why can he not just say he changed his mind instead of trying to convince me that I am wrong. That I’M the one that misunderstood. I AM wrong a lot of the time. I’m NOT this time.

As a bonus, he said he was probably going to drive up on Saturday and then head home on Sunday. For those of you bad at math, that’s 1 night. ONE. When I said that I was disappointed that he wouldn’t be staying longer, he said that he was too but that he couldn’t. You know, his son has school and all. I’m fucking pissed. I’m leaving for THREE MONTHS. He says he ‘wished’ he could stay longer. Uhm, he could. He doesn’t work when he’s back home. He has 2 solid weeks off. He just doesn’t want to. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said that since it’s more than a week away, it wasn’t even on his radar yet (he is incapable of planning ahead). Super great end to our conversation last night.

 

Pierced Ears September 19, 2018

Mr OoT is away for 3 weeks again. It was only supposed to be 2 weeks, but they need him to stay an extra week. It’s the right thing for him to do. Of course, me being me, I’m bummed because he was going to come see me this weekend. Not happening.

 

We discussed my going to see him next weekend when he returns. That’s not happening either. I had a job come up and I can’t turn down the money or risk losing the client in the future. Boo.

 

Mr. OoT and I are headed for a week’s vacation in about 14 days. 7 days of being on the beach. 7 days in my happy place. Looks like we won’t see each other until then though.

 

We talk often. Like multiple times a day. And it’s not always me calling either. 😉 The conversations have been good, but just not the same as seeing someone in person. We both wish we could see each other more. It’s his fault we won’t see each other this weekend. It’s my fault we won’t see each other next weekend. It will be almost a full month by the time that we see each other again.

 

He says often that he wishes we could see each other more often. I agree. He threw in today that it’s like when you get your ears pierced. That if you don’t keep an earing in there, it starts to close up. That made me incredibly sad because it’s true. That’s exactly how our relationship is.

 

I thought we were doing better by talking so often. It is working on my end. While not optimal, speaking every day helps to keep me engaged and connected. Not sure it does for him.

 

His pierced ear comparison is dead on. If you don’t keep an earing in there, it closes up until you shove an earing in there again. 😦

 

Expectations, Reality & Plan B September 18, 2018

Filed under: aura,dating,driking,internet dating,karma,mexico,online dating,repo man,texting — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:48 pm

Expectations, to an extent, are a bad thing.  Standards are good things.  Those shouldn’t be lowered or *gasp* ignored.  Expectations, however, are a tricky thing.  You can’t expect people to act the way you want them to.  Everyone operates with their own set of ‘tools’.  Some people are, in fact, tools themselves.

 

Not sure if I ever mentioned that I actually met Repo Man when I was in my old hometown a few months ago.  He was sweet as can be.  He picked me up from the airport, took me out to lunch and then dropped me off where I needed to be.  We got along great.  He’s very cute.  In looks and personality.  He was sweet and nice and complimentary and smart and insightful.  I liked him.   Pretty sure he liked me too.  What a nice feeling.  When he dropped me off, he got out of his truck and handed me my suitcase.  And he kissed me.  Uhm….. While it wasn’t the worst thing in the universe, it was unexpected and as we’d had Mexican food for lunch it was a tad bit onion-y.  Weird.

 

Although I was seeing Mr. OoT at the time, I continued to communicate with Repo Man.  He was super flirty and kept suggesting that we have a do-over of the kiss.  He was seeing someone as well at the time.  I was very careful about how I responded.  I had a pretty good idea that he was ‘Plan B-ing’ me again.  You know, if the current girlfriend doesn’t work out, there I’d be.  He’d done it twice to me before.  I guess I was doing the same thing to him.  As we live in different states, I kind of considered it a non issue.

 

As it turns out, it WAS a non issue.  Although he was the one to always text me and while I was careful to never discuss Mr. OoT, he would usually mention his girlfriend and how he was pretty sure she wasn’t the one.  Yup, both times we were supposed to meet before he was dating someone else who wasn’t the one either.  As he apparently likes to cram square pegs into round holes (nope, not a euphemism), he would go silent when he decided to give these women ‘one more chance’.  Whatevs.

 

Needless to say, he went silent.  After an hour or so of texting one night, he opted to send me a photo of he and his current square peg.  Uh, thank you?  Weird.  I told him they made a cute couple.  I thought that was more polite than responding “why the fuck did you just send that to me?’  And that, my friends, brings to a close the latest chapter in Repo Man & Grey Goose a couple never meant to be.

 

 

 

Like Watching A Pot Of Water Boil July 21, 2018

Filed under: aura,dating,internet dating,karma,mexico,Mr. OoT,online dating,texting — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:49 pm

That’s what it’s like watching the calendar.  It doesn’t make the time go by any faster.  Mr. OoT is 12 days into his 21 day stint out of town.  He’s been pretty good about staying in touch and not ‘checking out’.  Which, of course, means that I haven’t checked out.  Yet.

 

He brought up living together yesterday.  Again.  Uhm, WAY too soon for that talk.  And sorry, but just because his BFF moved his brand new girlfriend in already doesn’t mean it’s the move for us.  Pun intended.  Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, I live in the better town and have the better house.  Those are just facts.  Another fact is that Mr. OoT needs to stay in his town for 3 more years until his youngest graduates high school.  Non facts are things such as would I really move to a different town when I love mine so much?  Why would I move to his town when he’s gone half the month anyway?  What the hell would it be like living with Mr. OoT 24/7 forever and ever?  Sure, our ‘dates’ last for days on end, but there is always an end point.  Always a time that I know I will get my ‘space’ back.  To be fair, I’d probably be like this with anyone and realize that I’m no picnic either.  I’m an introvert at heart.  I need my ‘me’ time.  Dealing with Mr. OoT’s not so little idiosyncracies might just drive me insane though.

 

I’m doing well on just letting things go and again, to be fair, he’s doing better at retaining information.  I read a pithy little blurb somewhere yesterday (probably FB or The Twitter as that’s where I keep up on all current events) that said something to the effect of : Just because someone isn’t loving you in the way that you have envisioned doesn’t mean that they’re not loving you to the best of their ability.  Or something like that.  I need to start writing things down…..

 

Anywhoo, as an added ‘bonus’, all sorts of shit is hitting the fan today in my business and normal life and I don’t really think I can talk to Mr. OoT about the business side.  I’m used to being able to lean on whoever I’m seeing (if I recall correctly as it’s been so long ago) to offer advice and talk thru things with me.  I just sent Mr. OoT a text about one specific thing going on and he’s not getting it.  He’s never had anything other than a time-clock punching job and his mind just doesn’t work ‘business-wise’.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that by any means, but it’s just different and he has no perspective on what it’s like to live my ‘work’ life.  It’s highlighting another difference between he and I.  Last week when I told him about an issue I was having with a particularly rude client, he told me I should just tell them to fuck off and hang up on them.  Uhm, no.  That’s not how it’s done in business.

 

Gah, today has gone from bad to worse.  Yeehaw.

 

P.S. Although all the above is true, I miss him and that’s just making it all worse (but probably just in my head)

 

Shuttle Service July 9, 2018

Oh hell. I owe a bunch of updates. Vacation ended. Sister came to town. Mr. OoT had his family reunion. Such a busy past 8 days. As I don’t want to spoil the fun filled suspense, I’ll meter out my updates. You’re welcome.

I got back from my Mexico vacay 10 days ago. Mr. OoT had promised to pick me up at the airport, 2 hours from his town, at 11:30pm. I was less than positive that he’d actually be there. I spent most of the last leg of my flight preparing myself for it and pep talking myself into not being mad/disappointed/sad when I walked past security to see a bunch of strangers. Much to my surprise delight, he was there!! And it was good to see him. Although I was still more than a bit pissed about the whole stranded on the side of a Mexican highway thing and his seeming lack of concern, I let it go. Kind of.

I did end up asking him about it and letting him know how disappointed I was. He explained his viewpoint. His completely fucked up and ridiculous interpretation of my text, but his reaction (or lack thereof) made sense. If you’re a moron. Or male. He thought, heaven knows why, that I was sitting in an air conditioned shuttle bus on the side of the road awaiting a new tire. Uhm, no. No, that’s not what happened at all. Anyway, and regardless of his ‘vision’, I explained that by his not checking in with me, it appeared as if he didn’t care. He responded, in the true spirit of maleness, that although he was concerned, there was nothing he could do to help and he didn’t think sending a ‘hope you’re not dead’ text would be helpful. Or appreciated. Couldn’t really argue with that.

He proceeded to stay for the next 2 nights at my house. And it was kinda awesome. I much prefer my house to his apartment (shhhhh, don’t tell). This was the 1st time he’d stayed over, much less come to my town, since date #1. I regaled him with all the awesomeness that is my town in the summer. The outdoor free concerts 3 times a week. The most amazing farmer’s market ever. The beautiful parks and ponds. I truly live in a killer town. He does not (again, shhhhhh). He drove back to his town late on a Friday afternoon only to turn back around the next day and come back to catch a comedy show. And meet my best friend. And my twin sister……..