The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

And Off He Goes February 22, 2018

So he who still doesn’t have a blog name leaves for vacation today. He’ll be back in 10 days. I won’t. I don’t leave until next week and won’t be back until the 2nd week in March.

Seems like weird timing to meet someone. While I have never believed in ‘bad timing’ and always thought of it as an excuse (unless, of course, you’re about to be imprisoned or deported), maybe that’s what this is.

Our texting has been pretty surface lately. As my new dating coach, Matthew Hussey (seriously, check him out; he knows his shit and is HOT) suggested, I have not been the one to initiate texts. I have not been the needy one. I have not ‘tested’ the situation.

Tonight Mr Vacation (oh, look who just got assigned a completely unimaginative blog name) sent a text apologizing for being incommunicado and kinda bleh the past couple of days. As it was completely unprompted, it was nice. Hey, maybe this shit works! Normally I would completely validate him and not want him to feel bad so would normally excuse everything. As I’m trying to embrace a new normal, all I said was that I appreciated his apology. And then I did something I normally wouldn’t do for fear of sounding needy or *gasp* letting him know I was interested. I told him that I wished that we could have gotten together before he left. Nope, wasn’t even guilt trippy or passive aggressive. It was just a statement and I left it at that.

He responded right back with another apology and saying he wished we could have gotten together as well, but that he just sort of ran out of time. While the old Grey would get all gushy and forgiving and let him off the hook because ‘look! he likes me!’, the new Grey isn’t so sure. He did have time to see me. He had time to see friends. He just didn’t prioritize seeing me and has, in fact, now run out of time.

Maybe we’ll chat while he’s gone, maybe we won’t. I’m not going to initiate anything and I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of my own damn vacation! Of course I won’t completely write him off as I do think he’s a good guy, but I will pay attention to what he does when I return.

Let’s face it. I don’t really know this guy. We’ve only met once. We’ve since exchanged about 400 text messages. Who knows what will happen. Here’s the difference between old & (hopefully) new Grey; I know what I want and what I deserve. I don’t need to make everything so easy by making myself so available. No, that doesn’t mean I need or want to make things difficult either. It just means I’ll pay attention and while I can ‘mirror’ his effort, I will not do all the work.

Now, while I never lie to others, we all know that I’m pretty damn good at lying to myself, so I guess we’ll see…..


What Is It About Cats? May 7, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:15 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Sure, cats are okay (they’re no dog, mind you).  They (can be) cute, fluffy, interactive and goofy.  Usually though, they’re just kinda, well, cats.  They do their own thing, on their own schedule and seem to like to be left alone.  I associate cats with someone not really committing to a pet.  You could never put a big bowl of food down and leave the house for a week with a dog, but I find that a lot of cat owners do this very thing.  Because they can and it’s easy.

Now before all you cat people get up in arms, I realize I am making a HUGE generalization here.  You should know by know that’s kinda my thing. 😉  There are some awesome cats out there as well as some awesome cat owners.  I just find it a little Norman Bates-ish for a single man to own cats.  Not that they go around killing people in their showers, but in that I always think they spend lots of time at home.  Alone.  Petting their cats.  And talking to their mothers on the phone (dead or alive).  But that’s just me.

Anyway, I’ve come across a LOT of profile pictures with men hugging their cats.  And they use them as their main pictures.  It’s just weird.  Today I even saw one that looked like a total professional pictures and the man was not only holding his cat up next to his face, but was also wearing a sweat band on his wrist.  As he wasn’t dressed in tennis garb, I have no clue why anyone would wear a white terry cloth sweat band with a dress shirt.  Sure, I live in a very hot climate, but I feel their are better ways to handle a sweat situation.

Although my list of things NOT to pose with for an online dating profile seems to be ever growing (dead fish, dead animals, a crotch rocket, a hooker, a convertible corvette to name a few), I do believe I’m going to have to add cats to my list.  At this rate I’m going to rule out every guy in town.  *Sigh*.  Maybe I just do this as they’ve already apparently ruled me out …..