The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

I Think I Had A Good Time February 27, 2017

You’re welcome in advance for this not being a whiny post about my less than envious love life.  Can I really even call it a love life if I haven’t had any semblance of a relationship in uh, years?!  *cue sad music*

Anywho, this is a post about my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  Well, a post about what I can remember from my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  My friend and I are kind of in the same boat as far as guys go.  She’s at least had a couple short lived relationships in the past few years, but the guys always either ghost, flip out or turn into someone other than who they appeared to be.  She tries to slog through the wold of online dating as well.  We are both convinced that our bad luck in love at our advanced ages is Karma firmly kicking us in the ass for all the fun we had in our 20s.  Believe me, we had a LOT of fun back then.

Back to the beach.  We arrived on Thursday afternoon and immediately decided to start day drinking.  Bad decision #1.  Bad decision #2 was to make an exceptionally strong (and large) vodka soda.  Bad decision #3 was to decide, when I discovered that I forgot to bring lemons, to add an entire can of Mike’s Harder Lemonade to my already lighter-fluid-ish drink in order to get that lemon flavor.  Bad decision #4 was to then decide, after sucking that gross tasting concoction down (can’t waste perfectly good alcohol) that since it was technically National Margarita Day (that’s a thing, right?) to go to the restaurant on property to enjoy some 2 for 1 Margaritas.  Details after that are a little fuzzy.  As in I don’t really remember shit.  My friend did assure me that I didn’t make a complete ass of myself and that I was safely passed out on the couch without having embarrassed myself too much.  Passed out on the couch by 8:30pm.  Lovely.

The next couple of days included many many cocktails, a lobster-esque sunburn,  getting lost multiple times in a town that I should really be able to navigate by now and not a single solitary conversation with anyone of the opposite sex.  Well, that’s unless you include the short and sweet conversation we had with the ridiculously drunk and obnoxious husband of the wife teetering around on stiletto heals.  At the beach.  Oh, and by ‘short and sweet’ I of course mean ‘he was a ginormous idiot that I had to stop my friend from knocking out as he had absolutely NO filter when it came to what he thought was appropriate to say to complete strangers’.

Good times!


Let’s Be Honest….. November 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:09 pm
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Alright, alright ~ we’re all friends here, right? I mean, all 3 of us, me and the 2 random people who accidentally ended up at my blog. 😉 So we all know that vacation was fun, that I love a good martini, that I like to have fun (get your minds out of the gutter), and that this year has pretty much sucked.

Well guess what that means?  Apparently when you mix all of those ingredients together, you get an obnoxiously drunk me who doesn’t remember most of what happened after 10pm on most nights from vacation!  *hanging head in shame*  I know! How embarrassing!  I have always been able to hold my alcohol.  I swear, I was like the retardedly inappropriate friend that entertains the masses during the trip!  Funny in a way, but really sorta sad in another!

Each time I would start to talk about something with my ‘new friend’, he would inform me that we’d already talked about it the night before! Holy shit!  I’m boring Aunt Martha who repeats herself all the time!

Here’s the kicker though … as I truly don’t remember all that was discussed (and really wish that I did, ’cause he was a good guy), I just hope I didn’t ‘share’ things that I don’t ‘share’ with people.  Again, mind out of the gutters people.  As you all have my best interest at heart, I’ll tell you as I’m under the completely misguided security that i’m completely anonymous here. 😉 Here’s what I’m hoping beyond hope that I didn’t slur say: I hope I didn’t mention my 2nd job, which I can’t stand ….. I hope I didn’t mention uh, how long it’s been since, well, you know ……. and I HOPE TO GOD I did not share my biggest  most pathetic fear of dying alone ……

Ugh! I just really wish I did know what was said.  I am the listener and love to learn about others.  The fact that I didn’t and *gasp* may have rambled on about myself instead is just mortifying!  Wanna know what else is mortifying?  One of the parts that I do remember is that I practically threw myself at this poor guy the last 2 nights!  Oy, I think I’m socially retarded ……… boo me ……