The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

And, Behind Door #3 ……. December 18, 2016

Yey!  An online dating game show.  Nah, more like online dating shitshow ….. So, I was at the vet’s office the other day and chatting with my friend/vet (well, he’s not MY vet, he’s my dogs’ … duh) and he loves when I regale him with my dating fiascos stories.  He said to me, when I mentioned that I was planning a vacation away, and I quote, how ‘lucky I am to be single’.  He, obviously, is not.  So funny how different perceptions are.  Anyway, I told him to piss off and left. 😉

So I’m at home tonight (big surprise) and my text message alert goes off.  Obviously I assume it’s my new bi-coastal, presumed married guy who keeps texting me.  Just once per day, when he accesses his fake phone number via his laptop, with details on his next upcoming trip.  I’m so lucky.  Not.

When I check my phone however, I am pleasantly surprised to see that it’s Repo Man .  I haven’t heard from him in what?  A month?  I have thought about texting him several times, but didn’t think that would be ‘fair’ to the gal he is seeing.  Then I figured, well, dating hasn’t been ‘fair’ to me, so who gives a shit?  Oh, that’s right.  I do.  Just because the universe keeps sending douchebags my way doesn’t mean that I have to be one.  Anyway, it was a cute message complimenting me on a new pic I put up on Bumble a couple of weeks ago.  A new pic that I put up with the absolute hope that he would see it.  Weird, right?  He was checking in to see how the lovely world of dating was going for me.  And, truth be told, I think to see if I was still single.  Ah, silly man, I always seem to be single.  Boo.

I regaled him with a couple of my stories and asked how he and his new(ish) gal were doing and if he was in love yet.  Sadly (?) he said not so great.  He explained that although he thinks she is pretty amazing in every way, there are 2 pretty important pieces missing.  I get it.  Believe me, I get it.  He did say that those 2 missing pieces are ones that I seem to possess.  Eh, who knows.

He did let me know that he thinks I’m very pretty and have a great sense of humor.  He’s right.  I do. 😉 It took me forever (49 years to be exact) to be able to take a compliment without self-deprecatingly brushing it off, so there’s that.  I just thanked him for his sweet words and left it at that.

Am I upset that he contacted me while still dating someone else?  Nah.  I want to be someone’s last choice.  Wait, that reads completely different than what I mean.  I mean I want someone to date as many women as they want and THEN date me and decide that I’m the one.  I don’t want to be the 1st date and then lose out because they feel they’re missing out.  That was an ENORMOUS mistake that I made with he who shall remain nameless.  I was #1 and was then expected to wait around while he then dated around.  And, as we all well know, I did.  What a dumbass I was.

Anywhoo, we chatted a bit more and before he signed off, I asked him to keep in touch.  I told him that for good or bad, whether we ever meet or not, he seems like a pretty terrific guy and all else aside, I’m a great listener if he ever needs help working through anything.  That last part was a whoops on my part, I am NOT going back into the business of ‘fixing’ people.  Thing is, he’s not broken.  He just seems like a really good guy with a good heart.  Not a lot of them out there ….. online, at least 😉 We’ll see.  As I well know, the universe works in mysterious ways, so maybe ……..

Now, as the 16th has come and gone and that was the date that OO7 set up 3 weeks in advance with me only to fall off the face of the earth right after that, would anyone like to guess if it actually happened???? Anyone?


For The Love of Carol December 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:23 pm
Tags: , , ,

So I have a friend who met a ‘potentially’ good guy on POF (or plenty of tools as I like to call it).  Well, a potentially good guy until he opened his mouth and showed his true colors, that is.  Although I don’t know the entire story, I believe that they started their internet courtship via e-mail.  LOTS of e-mails.  Apparently love letters and such were involved.  Huh … From him for sure, from her, not so sure.

Anyway they met and hit it off.  C was pretty much hooked at that point, she was looking forward to a 2nd date, a 3rd date, an impending engagement, a poofy white wedding gown, a white picket fence and 2.5 kids.  Okay, she really wasn’t, but I knew that would piss her off when she read it. 😉

Point being, she liked him.  And thought that he liked her.  As they continued to get to know each other, here’s what surfaced:  He is apparently totally retarded when it comes to social situations.  Not in the regard that he puts his foot in his mouth (’cause that’s MY signature move), but that he won’t even go out!  He hates socializing and pretty much makes himself a shut-in.  Uh, run C, run!  Oh, sorry, this isn’t my story ……… yet. 😉 He pretty much just told her that he doesn’t like going out …. and turned her down when she invited him to a holiday party that she was attending.

So social retardation is one thing.  The fact that he told her that he couldn’t see her much in the next 3 weeks due to the fact that his ex was coming to town and staying with him (WTF?!?!) pretty much told C all she needed to know.  As she did like him and felt a little betrayed by this last bit of news, we devised a little plan.  You see C, although not of the blogosphere world, still does what any red-blooded female faced with the dim task of internet dating does.  She takes note of when he’s online and how often (she may actually have a spreadsheet & power point presentation based on this, but i’m not sure).  Point being that he spent a LOT of time on that website and as he wasn’t writing to her, how many others was he ‘working’ at the same time?

Anyway, as I so don’t like deceptive men taking advantage of nice women, I offered to ‘help’.  What the hell does that mean, right?  Okay, help is the wrong term ……. uh, how about ‘entertain the hell out of myself’ instead?  Yup, much more fitting.

C sent me his profile name on POT and I immediately went on (yes, I have a dormant profile on there – you certainly can’t be surprised by that tidbit, can you?) resurrected my profile (i hope you appreciate this C as I HATE that site) and made him a favorite.  I waited a couple of days until I was pretty sure he knew he was a favorite of mine and just sent this off:


I really liked your profile.  You sound like a terrific mix of being intelligent, good hearted, fun and interesting.  Not to mention, you have a great smile.

I’m intrigued ………

What do I hope to accomplish by doing this?  Who knows, but hopefully he’ll answer back and I can teach him a lesson on how uncool it is to use the whole ‘bait and switch’ approach. 🙂

I’ll keep you all posted!