The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

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I Think I Can, I Think I Can…… June 24, 2015

I went out with a very nice man a couple of weeks ago.  We met for what turned out to be dinner.  I thought it was just going to be drinks, but whatever, a girl’s gotta eat, right?  He got there before me and texted to find out what I’d like to drink.  Very nice, right?  When I arrived he was already sitting and so was my drink.  Neither got up to greet me.  Hmmmm….. The cocktail was forgiven, but I think it’s just nice manners to stand and greet your guest.  Not a deal breaker as we just obviously were brought up differently, but it was in the file.

I sat down after a bit of an awkward delay (what?  I have never had someone NOT stand up to greet me before).  We talked easily.  He about his past relationships, his trust issues, his nomadic lifestyle and me about, well, not much.  I wanted to like him more than I did.  I just wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t think we had much in common.  Of course, this set my mind into overdrive wondering if it were one of those elusive situations where attraction grows the more you get to know someone.

We enjoyed a pleasant dinner and after about an hour and a half, we left.  He paid, so that was very nice.  He walked me to my car (again, very nice) and we parted ways.  He texted me later that night to say he had a good time and to ask if I would like to go out again.  I took a minute (or 300) to respond in that I wasn’t sure if it were worth it, but opted to give it a go.

I had a hugely hectic week, so it took almost 2 weeks in order to be able to schedule date #2.  That, in and of itself was a red flag for me because if I like a guy, I’ll do whatever it takes to make time to see them.  I didn’t feel the need, or desire, to do so with him. 😦

Our texts and phone conversations were always stilted and a bit awkward.  The ‘flow’ never seemed to improve.  He made a few awkward attempts to flirt with me via text (really?) and got a bit pouty when I didn’t pick up on it (truth be told, I DID pick up on it, just didn’t want to go there).  Anyway, about a week ago, he asked me if I’d like to go out on a date with him.  Strange considering he’d already asked, but I thought he was just being silly.  We decided on Thursday evening (tomorrow night).  A few days after that text conversation he asked me if I’d like to go out again.  Uhm…………. I sort of let it go and our awkward texts continued.  Until last night.  When he asked me if I’d like to go out.  WTH?  That would make 3 times that he’s asked me out for a 2nd date and 3 times that I accepted.  I responded last night with a ‘I thought we had plans for Thursday?’  To which he didn’t respond.

Another red flag is that I didn’t care that he didn’t respond when normally I would be over thinking the shit out of something like that.  Anyway, I woke up this morning and decided that it wasn’t fair to him to keep this going in order for me to ‘see’ if I could ever see myself with him.  I sent a very nice text letting him know that although I thought he was a terrific guy, that I just wasn’t sure that we were a good match, but that I really enjoyed meeting him.

He sent back a lovely message wishing me well, letting me know how much he enjoyed meeting me and sort of signing off pleasantly.  Oh wait, that didn’t happen at all.  He just never responded.

I can’t make myself like someone just because they like me, right?

 

The Art Of Back Peddaling April 24, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:07 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Soooooo, remember the horrible man who grilled me for over an hour on the phone before declaring me worthy of meeting him, who I subsequently opted out of, who THEN sent me a lovely shitty e mail listing all of the reasons that he didn’t want to meet me anyway?  Yeah, that one.  He decided to e mail me yesterday.  Lucky me.

He apologized for how our phone conversation came off, claimed that’s not how he ‘normally’ has a conversation with his friends and then blamed it on online dating for being such a grill-master.  He also was gracious enough to say that he’d still like to meet me.  Uhm, hello?  I feel as if he’s missing a HUGE chunk out of his memory.  Not only was the phone call painful, but the follow up nasty-gram letting me know all the reasons that I wasn’t a suitable match for him seems to have escaped his memory.  I do believe I’ll opt out of responding and have absolutely NO regrets of missing out on the opportunity to meet this jackass.

Now, as for the guy on the other site who gave me the ultimatum of providing my phone number or he wouldn’t communicate with me messaged back.  As I can’t possibly capture the esense of his defensiveness without making him seem like a petulant and controlling idiot……oh wait, he IS these things, I’ll just post it.  Anywhoo, here’s what I wrote him as well as his response.  Please enjoy

Me to him:  Hi Dumbass (not his real name),

Thanks for the note. I would never assume that anyone is a stalker. I’m the one that always thinks the best of everyone.

Although I prefer to have a real conversation as well, as I said, giving out my number (which is my work phone as well) off the bat just isn’t something I’m comfortable doing.

I ‘get’ that you’re not a fan of typing (who is?), but as you managed to type an entire profile, I’m kind of surprised that you basically told me that you won’t communicate with me unless I give you my number.

While I’m far from being someone that likes to message back and forth incessantly, I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a few more messages back and forth before doing so. I’d think if you wanted to get to know me, you’d be okay with waiting until I was comfortable. That’s disappointing that you’re unwilling to do that.

My apologies if that’s not what you meant, but it’s the way it came across.

Him to me:  Well Grey Goose, You certainly labeled me as doing that, then merely left a disclaimer afterwards. lmao… Its okay though as I dont expect much from online anything.
And I did fill out a profile. It is a must to get someone to pay attention. But to keep doing as I am now is just a pain.
Look up (insert dumbass’ crappy website here) and you will see my number is also my business number.
So I have no choice in running a successful business under a number For stalking. lol…
I hope since I have been typing with you now that you my compromise and also text…

Not sure how he thinks that message would make me want to give him my phone number, but that’s what he opted to go with.  Please note, that he STILL didn’t just give me his number.  He made me look up his craptastic website.  I think this one is a bit too argumentative, negative and difficult for me!  Everything else aside, his grammar sucks!

 

To Date Or Not To Date…… August 5, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:31 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So as of today, day #8 (ish) on E-Harmony, I have figured out a few things:

1) Sunday is apparently communication day

2) It’s absolutely expected for a guy to take 5 days to respond to 3 multiple choice questions

3) Unlike Match, where everyone ‘loves to hike’, everyone ‘loves to hunt’ on E-Harm.  No bueno

4) Although there are less shirtless bathroom pics, there are still an equal number of dead fish pictures

5) Those that you contact will not contact you

6) Those that you don’t want to contact you immediately will

Here are the current standings in the less than impressive race for my affection:

1) Business man looking guy who is kinda funny but travelling on business until the 11th.  Sent me his phone number several days ago.  He texted once, I responded.  The end.

2) Wife beater guy (based on what he was wearing, not past rap sheet).  Sent me his phone number several days ago.  I texted once.  He texted once.  Last night he texted once, at midnight, to say he hoped I was having an awesome night.  Uhm, thanks.  I was until you woke me up!

3) Dweeby head banger guy who I’m not quite sure why I have been playing the question and answer game with sent me a message today saying he was going to the Cinderella concert in a neighboring town and he’s sorry he didn’t get me a ticket and invite me.  Uhm, I’m not. :-X

4) Tall blonde guy who looks a bit er, husky, but has a nice smile has been playing the question and answer game with me.  Too bad 3 of his ‘must haves’ had to do with sex.  Or not …… we’ll see 😉

5) Comptroller guy (date from yesterday) looked at my profile again today.  I assume to show his neighbor who he was spending the day with what a hottie I am.  Ha.  He did send me a text a couple hours after I left last night to thank me again, tell me he had a good time and to say he was looking forward to next time.  Wish I could be more excited about him, but I’m just not seeing it.

 

The 50 Minute Date May 11, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:10 am
Tags: , , ,

And believe me you, that was about 47 minutes too long.  Actually, about 49 minutes too long because right when I walked in a he gave me this uncomfortably lingering hug (and I’m pretty sure he smelled my hair), I knew he wasn’t the guy for me.  Anyway, what fun would it be if that’s all I said, so I’ll take you through the whole painful experience.

1st  things 1st.  I’m an idiot.  Duh, we all know that.  I picked the place.  I picked a wine bar that I really like from when an amazing kisser  a douchebag who cancelled on me hours before our 2nd date took me there.  Only I got the places mixed up and ended up ‘choosing’ some place that I had never been to before that ended up being really far from me!  Duh, my navigational skills are equally as bad as my guy picking skills are.  We all know that’s bad!  So I show up and he smiles at me with these wide open eyes (I mean really wide open – disconcertingly so) and smiles at me with just about the most fucked up teeth I’ve ever seen.  I don’t know if he was actually missing teeth, but there were huge gaps in between all of his front teeth.  I mean huge – like 1/4 inch at least.  Yikes.  Since the guy has these weirdly intense wolf eyes going on paired with really bad teeth, I have no clue where I am supposed to look when talking to him.  So I pretty much looked everywhere but at him. 

He is not the best conversationalist in the world and it was sort of like pulling teeth.  No pun intended…….. but fitting.  I would ask him questions and he would give very stilted answers.  He, in turn, would ask ‘so tell me about you’ which I find to be the most retarded question in the universe.  What about me would you like to know?  When I learned to talk?  Who my 1st best friend was?  What sort of music I like?  Ask a specific question people!!  Anyway, I start looking at the table, spinning my rings, playing with my wine glass (i think I gotta draw the line at martinis 3 nights in a row) and grasping at straws.  Everything I say, he’s practically leaning on the table hanging on my every word while staring intently at me with his weird eyes the whole time.  Sure, that would be great if a guy that had potential found me so amazing, but yeah, no thank you.   I tell him I have a really early day in the morning and he (thank god) picks up on my none too subtle hint.  And I’m pretty sure he’s picked up on my other ‘no thank you’ cues.  So we get the check and he pays (very nice of him) and he’s squinting at the cc receipt and can’t figure out which one to sign so asked if I could help him.  I reach over to grab the copies and he takes the opportunity to grab my hand and tell me (and I quote) ‘that I have a very soft hand and it feels nice’ …………..eww gross.  I sort of yank my hand away, say thank you, make one of my patented horrified faces that I never really intend to make, but they happen anyway, and then we go. 

As much as I wanted to sprint to my car, I was wearing heels and was afraid I’d face plant.  As that would be pretty par for the course.  He walks me to my car and I take a step back and say  ‘thank you so much for the wine, have a nice evening’ and start to turn around.  Well he grabs me, gives me another lingering hug and ………….wait for it ………… tries to kiss me!!!! Like a full on kiss!  Gross!  What the hell was he thinking?  I don’t mean like a quick peck or a kiss on the cheek, I mean a full on kiss that I usually reserve for heavy drinking evenings with guys I actually kinda like (or at least who do not make me cringe).  Anyway I turned my head really fast and practically jumped in the car.  Lovely.

So, in highlights version:  bad teeth, weirdly intense eyes, short, reminded me a hell of a lot of Irish Guy, bad conversationalist, nothing in common.

Weird fact for my date-a-thon dates this past week:  Skinny Guy is and Avionics Engineer and works for Boeing, Monday’s guy is a Software Engineer and is contracting with Boeing, This guy is an auditor with …….. you guessed it …. Boeing!! How weird is that?!?  And I wonder if they all know each other. LMAO!

The best part of my night?  I found $20 in my jeans. 🙂 See, it wasn’t all bad.  Just most of it!

.

oh and before anyone jumps all over me for not ‘noticing’ his screwed up teeth prior to meeting him, I was also wondering how I could miss something so glaringly obvious.  I just went back and looked at his pics and all of his smiles are closed mouthed.  Great.  So let’s add one more ‘red flag’ thing that we should look out for to our ever growing list.  I should sue for misrepresentation!

 

Texts From Douches Past, Part 2 March 14, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:59 am
Tags: , , ,

Full moon tonight?  Not only did I get a text from Friday’s guy letting me know that although it was nice meeting me, that his ex came back (duh, really?), but also got a text from a guy from last year inviting me to a party next month.  I’m sure it was a mass text that he sent out to everyone in his phone, but really?  Why am I still in there?  I should show up to his party.  And bring a date! 😉  Oh, and heard from yet a 3rd guy from last year who invited me to do something on Saturday.  As it’s a daytime thing and sounds like a lot of fun, I may actually take him up on it! 😉