43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I Think I Had A Good Time February 27, 2017

You’re welcome in advance for this not being a whiny post about my less than envious love life.  Can I really even call it a love life if I haven’t had any semblance of a relationship in uh, years?!  *cue sad music*

Anywho, this is a post about my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  Well, a post about what I can remember from my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  My friend and I are kind of in the same boat as far as guys go.  She’s at least had a couple short lived relationships in the past few years, but the guys always either ghost, flip out or turn into someone other than who they appeared to be.  She tries to slog through the wold of online dating as well.  We are both convinced that our bad luck in love at our advanced ages is Karma firmly kicking us in the ass for all the fun we had in our 20s.  Believe me, we had a LOT of fun back then.

Back to the beach.  We arrived on Thursday afternoon and immediately decided to start day drinking.  Bad decision #1.  Bad decision #2 was to make an exceptionally strong (and large) vodka soda.  Bad decision #3 was to decide, when I discovered that I forgot to bring lemons, to add an entire can of Mike’s Harder Lemonade to my already lighter-fluid-ish drink in order to get that lemon flavor.  Bad decision #4 was to then decide, after sucking that gross tasting concoction down (can’t waste perfectly good alcohol) that since it was technically National Margarita Day (that’s a thing, right?) to go to the restaurant on property to enjoy some 2 for 1 Margaritas.  Details after that are a little fuzzy.  As in I don’t really remember shit.  My friend did assure me that I didn’t make a complete ass of myself and that I was safely passed out on the couch without having embarrassed myself too much.  Passed out on the couch by 8:30pm.  Lovely.

The next couple of days included many many cocktails, a lobster-esque sunburn,  getting lost multiple times in a town that I should really be able to navigate by now and not a single solitary conversation with anyone of the opposite sex.  Well, that’s unless you include the short and sweet conversation we had with the ridiculously drunk and obnoxious husband of the wife teetering around on stiletto heals.  At the beach.  Oh, and by ‘short and sweet’ I of course mean ‘he was a ginormous idiot that I had to stop my friend from knocking out as he had absolutely NO filter when it came to what he thought was appropriate to say to complete strangers’.

Good times!

 

And, Behind Door #3 ……. December 18, 2016

Yey!  An online dating game show.  Nah, more like online dating shitshow ….. So, I was at the vet’s office the other day and chatting with my friend/vet (well, he’s not MY vet, he’s my dogs’ … duh) and he loves when I regale him with my dating fiascos stories.  He said to me, when I mentioned that I was planning a vacation away, and I quote, how ‘lucky I am to be single’.  He, obviously, is not.  So funny how different perceptions are.  Anyway, I told him to piss off and left. 😉

So I’m at home tonight (big surprise) and my text message alert goes off.  Obviously I assume it’s my new bi-coastal, presumed married guy who keeps texting me.  Just once per day, when he accesses his fake phone number via his laptop, with details on his next upcoming trip.  I’m so lucky.  Not.

When I check my phone however, I am pleasantly surprised to see that it’s Repo Man .  I haven’t heard from him in what?  A month?  I have thought about texting him several times, but didn’t think that would be ‘fair’ to the gal he is seeing.  Then I figured, well, dating hasn’t been ‘fair’ to me, so who gives a shit?  Oh, that’s right.  I do.  Just because the universe keeps sending douchebags my way doesn’t mean that I have to be one.  Anyway, it was a cute message complimenting me on a new pic I put up on Bumble a couple of weeks ago.  A new pic that I put up with the absolute hope that he would see it.  Weird, right?  He was checking in to see how the lovely world of dating was going for me.  And, truth be told, I think to see if I was still single.  Ah, silly man, I always seem to be single.  Boo.

I regaled him with a couple of my stories and asked how he and his new(ish) gal were doing and if he was in love yet.  Sadly (?) he said not so great.  He explained that although he thinks she is pretty amazing in every way, there are 2 pretty important pieces missing.  I get it.  Believe me, I get it.  He did say that those 2 missing pieces are ones that I seem to possess.  Eh, who knows.

He did let me know that he thinks I’m very pretty and have a great sense of humor.  He’s right.  I do. 😉 It took me forever (49 years to be exact) to be able to take a compliment without self-deprecatingly brushing it off, so there’s that.  I just thanked him for his sweet words and left it at that.

Am I upset that he contacted me while still dating someone else?  Nah.  I want to be someone’s last choice.  Wait, that reads completely different than what I mean.  I mean I want someone to date as many women as they want and THEN date me and decide that I’m the one.  I don’t want to be the 1st date and then lose out because they feel they’re missing out.  That was an ENORMOUS mistake that I made with he who shall remain nameless.  I was #1 and was then expected to wait around while he then dated around.  And, as we all well know, I did.  What a dumbass I was.

Anywhoo, we chatted a bit more and before he signed off, I asked him to keep in touch.  I told him that for good or bad, whether we ever meet or not, he seems like a pretty terrific guy and all else aside, I’m a great listener if he ever needs help working through anything.  That last part was a whoops on my part, I am NOT going back into the business of ‘fixing’ people.  Thing is, he’s not broken.  He just seems like a really good guy with a good heart.  Not a lot of them out there ….. online, at least 😉 We’ll see.  As I well know, the universe works in mysterious ways, so maybe ……..

Now, as the 16th has come and gone and that was the date that OO7 set up 3 weeks in advance with me only to fall off the face of the earth right after that, would anyone like to guess if it actually happened???? Anyone?