43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And Off He Goes February 22, 2018

So he who still doesn’t have a blog name leaves for vacation today. He’ll be back in 10 days. I won’t. I don’t leave until next week and won’t be back until the 2nd week in March.

Seems like weird timing to meet someone. While I have never believed in ‘bad timing’ and always thought of it as an excuse (unless, of course, you’re about to be imprisoned or deported), maybe that’s what this is.

Our texting has been pretty surface lately. As my new dating coach, Matthew Hussey (seriously, check him out; he knows his shit and is HOT) suggested, I have not been the one to initiate texts. I have not been the needy one. I have not ‘tested’ the situation.

Tonight Mr Vacation (oh, look who just got assigned a completely unimaginative blog name) sent a text apologizing for being incommunicado and kinda bleh the past couple of days. As it was completely unprompted, it was nice. Hey, maybe this shit works! Normally I would completely validate him and not want him to feel bad so would normally excuse everything. As I’m trying to embrace a new normal, all I said was that I appreciated his apology. And then I did something I normally wouldn’t do for fear of sounding needy or *gasp* letting him know I was interested. I told him that I wished that we could have gotten together before he left. Nope, wasn’t even guilt trippy or passive aggressive. It was just a statement and I left it at that.

He responded right back with another apology and saying he wished we could have gotten together as well, but that he just sort of ran out of time. While the old Grey would get all gushy and forgiving and let him off the hook because ‘look! he likes me!’, the new Grey isn’t so sure. He did have time to see me. He had time to see friends. He just didn’t prioritize seeing me and has, in fact, now run out of time.

Maybe we’ll chat while he’s gone, maybe we won’t. I’m not going to initiate anything and I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of my own damn vacation! Of course I won’t completely write him off as I do think he’s a good guy, but I will pay attention to what he does when I return.

Let’s face it. I don’t really know this guy. We’ve only met once. We’ve since exchanged about 400 text messages. Who knows what will happen. Here’s the difference between old & (hopefully) new Grey; I know what I want and what I deserve. I don’t need to make everything so easy by making myself so available. No, that doesn’t mean I need or want to make things difficult either. It just means I’ll pay attention and while I can ‘mirror’ his effort, I will not do all the work.

Now, while I never lie to others, we all know that I’m pretty damn good at lying to myself, so I guess we’ll see…..

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I May Have Sprained My Finger February 4, 2018

Yes, so I’m now an official Tinder-er. Many faces appear before me that I can choose to swipe left (no thank you) or right (yes, please) on. Guess which one I do more of?  Contrary to popular belief (and my own sometimes), I am not desperately looking for someone.  It just sure would be nice ……

Anywhoo, most men don’t put any sort of verbiage with their profile pic, so it’s purely based on looks. Perfect for a superficial bitch like me! Me, being the chatty Cathy that I have been known to be, wrote an actual little cliff’s notes blurb about who I am and whom I am looking for. Being as it’s Tinder, I can only assume it has yet to be read. Luckily, I’ve got some great pics of myself (once I crop out all of my friends and the multitude of cocktails that are usually scattered about, of course).

I’ve matched with several guys so far. Most just sit lined up across the top of my matches page waiting, like an annoying game of chicken, to see who writes 1st. I don’t write 1st. I leave it to them. Yes, that’s just how excited I am about my matches. 😉 Several of them have stepped up and written me. And I’ve written back. Look a me go!

1st there was the 40 year old military hottie whose first question to me was asking what I was looking for on Tinder. With all the self awareness that I could muster, I responded with ‘honestly, I’m not sure’, to which he replied that he was either looking for a serious relationship or a friend. Bullshit. I unmatched us.

Next was a guy that I couldn’t help but feel I had met before. As I’m fairly new to town, I was a little stumped by this. Anyway, we chatted back and forth for a while and he was a bit competitive, more than a bit full of himself and kept giving me clues as to who he is as a human. Not good. All of a sudden I remembered who he was! I had met him, over the summer, when he sat down next to me at a popular bar in town (yes, some things never change). We had started chatting and I found him extremely unlikable at the time. Add to that the fact that he was about 5’7″ and maybe 115 lbs and I just wanted him to go away. I didn’t tell Mr Tinder that we had met before and was just trying to decide how to end our online chat. Luckily he helped me out when he asked what I was doing later that night. I told him I was having dinner and drinks with a friend. He then responded with ‘sounds fun, hit me up after if you want to come over and work off that dinner.” Uhm, no. I didn’t even bother to respond. Unmatch….

I am chatting with a seemingly ‘normal’ and none too harsh on the eyes man.  He just seems nice.  I realize guys hate that descriptor, but honestly, I think it’s a good thing to be considered nice.  Very good.  Anyway, we’ve been chatting back and forth for a few days.  And he has not hinted once about wanting to meet.  Really?! I can only be my charming and witty self for so long with someone I haven’t even met yet.  Pull the trigger dude!

Oh, and for the record, I’ve swiped left FAR more than I’ve swiped right.  Just sayin’…..

 

I Think I Had A Good Time February 27, 2017

You’re welcome in advance for this not being a whiny post about my less than envious love life.  Can I really even call it a love life if I haven’t had any semblance of a relationship in uh, years?!  *cue sad music*

Anywho, this is a post about my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  Well, a post about what I can remember from my fun weekend at the beach with a college friend.  My friend and I are kind of in the same boat as far as guys go.  She’s at least had a couple short lived relationships in the past few years, but the guys always either ghost, flip out or turn into someone other than who they appeared to be.  She tries to slog through the wold of online dating as well.  We are both convinced that our bad luck in love at our advanced ages is Karma firmly kicking us in the ass for all the fun we had in our 20s.  Believe me, we had a LOT of fun back then.

Back to the beach.  We arrived on Thursday afternoon and immediately decided to start day drinking.  Bad decision #1.  Bad decision #2 was to make an exceptionally strong (and large) vodka soda.  Bad decision #3 was to decide, when I discovered that I forgot to bring lemons, to add an entire can of Mike’s Harder Lemonade to my already lighter-fluid-ish drink in order to get that lemon flavor.  Bad decision #4 was to then decide, after sucking that gross tasting concoction down (can’t waste perfectly good alcohol) that since it was technically National Margarita Day (that’s a thing, right?) to go to the restaurant on property to enjoy some 2 for 1 Margaritas.  Details after that are a little fuzzy.  As in I don’t really remember shit.  My friend did assure me that I didn’t make a complete ass of myself and that I was safely passed out on the couch without having embarrassed myself too much.  Passed out on the couch by 8:30pm.  Lovely.

The next couple of days included many many cocktails, a lobster-esque sunburn,  getting lost multiple times in a town that I should really be able to navigate by now and not a single solitary conversation with anyone of the opposite sex.  Well, that’s unless you include the short and sweet conversation we had with the ridiculously drunk and obnoxious husband of the wife teetering around on stiletto heals.  At the beach.  Oh, and by ‘short and sweet’ I of course mean ‘he was a ginormous idiot that I had to stop my friend from knocking out as he had absolutely NO filter when it came to what he thought was appropriate to say to complete strangers’.

Good times!

 

And, Behind Door #3 ……. December 18, 2016

Yey!  An online dating game show.  Nah, more like online dating shitshow ….. So, I was at the vet’s office the other day and chatting with my friend/vet (well, he’s not MY vet, he’s my dogs’ … duh) and he loves when I regale him with my dating fiascos stories.  He said to me, when I mentioned that I was planning a vacation away, and I quote, how ‘lucky I am to be single’.  He, obviously, is not.  So funny how different perceptions are.  Anyway, I told him to piss off and left. 😉

So I’m at home tonight (big surprise) and my text message alert goes off.  Obviously I assume it’s my new bi-coastal, presumed married guy who keeps texting me.  Just once per day, when he accesses his fake phone number via his laptop, with details on his next upcoming trip.  I’m so lucky.  Not.

When I check my phone however, I am pleasantly surprised to see that it’s Repo Man .  I haven’t heard from him in what?  A month?  I have thought about texting him several times, but didn’t think that would be ‘fair’ to the gal he is seeing.  Then I figured, well, dating hasn’t been ‘fair’ to me, so who gives a shit?  Oh, that’s right.  I do.  Just because the universe keeps sending douchebags my way doesn’t mean that I have to be one.  Anyway, it was a cute message complimenting me on a new pic I put up on Bumble a couple of weeks ago.  A new pic that I put up with the absolute hope that he would see it.  Weird, right?  He was checking in to see how the lovely world of dating was going for me.  And, truth be told, I think to see if I was still single.  Ah, silly man, I always seem to be single.  Boo.

I regaled him with a couple of my stories and asked how he and his new(ish) gal were doing and if he was in love yet.  Sadly (?) he said not so great.  He explained that although he thinks she is pretty amazing in every way, there are 2 pretty important pieces missing.  I get it.  Believe me, I get it.  He did say that those 2 missing pieces are ones that I seem to possess.  Eh, who knows.

He did let me know that he thinks I’m very pretty and have a great sense of humor.  He’s right.  I do. 😉 It took me forever (49 years to be exact) to be able to take a compliment without self-deprecatingly brushing it off, so there’s that.  I just thanked him for his sweet words and left it at that.

Am I upset that he contacted me while still dating someone else?  Nah.  I want to be someone’s last choice.  Wait, that reads completely different than what I mean.  I mean I want someone to date as many women as they want and THEN date me and decide that I’m the one.  I don’t want to be the 1st date and then lose out because they feel they’re missing out.  That was an ENORMOUS mistake that I made with he who shall remain nameless.  I was #1 and was then expected to wait around while he then dated around.  And, as we all well know, I did.  What a dumbass I was.

Anywhoo, we chatted a bit more and before he signed off, I asked him to keep in touch.  I told him that for good or bad, whether we ever meet or not, he seems like a pretty terrific guy and all else aside, I’m a great listener if he ever needs help working through anything.  That last part was a whoops on my part, I am NOT going back into the business of ‘fixing’ people.  Thing is, he’s not broken.  He just seems like a really good guy with a good heart.  Not a lot of them out there ….. online, at least 😉 We’ll see.  As I well know, the universe works in mysterious ways, so maybe ……..

Now, as the 16th has come and gone and that was the date that OO7 set up 3 weeks in advance with me only to fall off the face of the earth right after that, would anyone like to guess if it actually happened???? Anyone?