The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Let’s Play A Game April 22, 2022

It’s 6:45pm on Friday night. Guess what I’m doing? Or going to do? Or have done? Or wearing? If you guessed already in pajamas, ready to tuck into a movie with my dogs and no other human company while doing laundry, you win! Yippee!! Who’d have guessed? Oh, that’s right, everyone.

Last Friday night my old neighbors, who I LOVE, unexpectedly brought their young kids by at 7:45 pm to say hi! Yey! Guess what I was wearing that time? Yes! A different pair of pajamas. At 7:45pm. On a Friday night. With witnesses. Yikes.

I am less than thrilled with the current offerings on Bumble and apparently the feeling is mutual. I deleted (almost) all of my stagnant message exchanges. For whatever reason, I have left the one that I messaged with a lot a couple of weeks ago who just stopped messaging. I know he either met someone else or died. What other reason could there be? You know who else I left in the stagnant strand? The Professor, who cancelled on me the day of, due to illness but suggested we ‘reschedule very soon!’. He must have died as well. What other reason could there be?

I’m not sure why I have left those 2 strands there, mockingly. Do I think they are going to magically reappear and ask me out? Maybe. Do I honestly think I wouldn’t pull out my best snarky questions about the large time gap in messages? Most definitely I would. So why then? I don’t know. *shrug*

I did match with someone at the beginning of the week as a total fluke. He was apparently just visiting and logged in while waiting for his flight home. I randomly logged in, after several days of not swiping left or right. We matched, we chatted, we have lots in common as far as mindsets, outlooks and ideals. He sort of a did a 180 with his life like I did a few years ago. He registers high on the empath scale (which, after Mr. OoT who definitely did not) is refreshing. He’s funny and witty and kind and doesn’t live in my state. Oh. And still has a child at home. Double Oh. And was SUPER weird on the phone. In that either there were actually many many squirrels or shiny objects in his vicinity while we were talking or he is ADD off the charts. We’ll see where this goes, if anywhere. We all know I tend to get bored/annoyed with getting to know someone before I know if there is any chemistry and I truly want to get know them. Meh, my online Tarot reader says I should embrace new ideals and changes in how I do things. I’ll give it a shot. Anywhoo, I shall call him The Pilot. He’s not a pilot, mind you, but I feel that sounds better and is easier to type than The Airline Steward and much more polite than Mr. ADD.

Happy Friday!

 

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Week 2 Run Down February 8, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:28 am
Tags: , , , , ,

So you remember all the guys I listed from week one?  Off to a great start, huh?  Yeah, no.  I actually met one (yes, the coffee date that I invited my friend to).  Now they’re all off the list.  Either their fault or mine (probably more theirs though ;-)), they’re no longer options.  Some were flakey, some were rude, some were slackers, 2 were uber nice, but couldn’t pull it together enough to actually keep things rolling or *gasp* ask me to meet.

As I’ve adopted the ‘mirror’ route instead of the ‘chase’ route this go around, I am not going to be the one that suggests meeting.  Or keeps in touch when they don’t.  If we’ve got a good exchange going and then they disappear, I will check in once.  If I don’t hear back, then that’s that.  Looking back, I spent a LOT of time trying to ‘move things along’ in the past.  I did it with TD and probably did it with the 2 guys that I met and liked very much last year.  I don’t want to be the chaser.  I want to be the chase-ee!

So here we are, end of week 2 and I’ve written 2 very nice ‘I don’t think we’re a match’ messages and then sat back and waited for some sort of shitty response.  I never got one.  They were both very nice about it.  The 1st, who I thought had promise despite living in a VERY scary part of time, turned out to have huge issues with not being over his ex yet.  How do I know this?  Well that’s because he spent the 1st 25 minutes of our 1st phone call bitching about her.  When I pointed this out to him, he said ‘well, you asked’.  Uhm, no.  No I didn’t.

The 2nd I actually hated telling ‘no’ to as he seemed like a hugely sweet and thoughtful guy.  He has a very sketchy past though and although everyone deserves a 2nd chance and I don’t hold people’s pasts against them, his was sketchy for a long time and he’s only been on the straight and narrow for less than a year.  I can’t get involved with that.  Not at this point.  My inner ‘fixer’ wanted to jump all over that, but I think my ‘fixing’ days are over.  They never end well.  For me, at least.  He was a sweetheart though.

I might actually be meeting someone for a drink next week that seems very cool and seems to have a lot of the same outlooks and sensibilities that I do (smart, snarky, employed; you know, the important stuff).  He lives uber far from me, but I’m going to give it a shot anyway.  That is, if he manages to answer a text message within 10 hours. 😉

To round things out I got a message for someone asking for my phone number.  I politely responded that I don’t give my number out right away and asked him a few innocuous questions.  His response was, in it’s entirety:  ‘up to you about the phone number, I’m not on here often’ (when in fact he always appears ‘online now’).  My next not so polite response was to say that unless he put some effort into writing me a message, he’d never get my number.  I also threw in that it would be nice if he actually bothered to tell me what his name is.  His response, and I shit you not, was ‘Tom.  Can I have your phone number’.  WTF?  Needless to say, I never responded back.  I have since gotten a wink, a ‘hi’ and a ‘like’ from him.  He’s either the dumbest man alive or computer generated.

I haven’t been online or put much effort into it this week, so I’ll try harder next week.  Maybe 😉