Wasted Efforts April 26, 2022

Otherwise known as protecting my energy. So The Pilot texts. A lot. And wants to know “what makes Grey Goose tick”. He sends sweetly encouraging and affirming messages. A lot. And it IS a lot. For me.

I’ve not met this man. He doesn’t live in my town. He has no idea when he’ll be able to get back to my town. He says he has ‘bid’ on flights to come back, but no set date or plan.

We all know my affinity for getting bored with men that I haven’t yet met. We are also well aware of my cynicism at times. Yes, we have a lot in common. We are also in very different places, bother literally and figuratively.

One of the main things I value is honesty. For good or bad, don’t make up stories that aren’t true. Especially if they are easily verified. The Pilot told me that he NEVER logs into Bumble when he is travelling. That is apparently a complete untruth. As Bumble is location based, you can see where people are logging in from. In the last 3 days he has logged in from 3 different states in the midwest. What a silly fib. Why? It’s not even a big deal until you lie about it. AND, just to clarify, he has my number and we now communicate via text and NOT via the app, so there goes that theory

Anyway, I don’t feel the desire to let The Pilot know what makes me tick before we meet and I know that I actually want The Pilot to know what makes me tick. Am I wrong? I am very protective over my personal thoughts, feelings, dreams and insecurities (except on here).

I feel that if I were more excited about actually meeting him, these things wouldn’t bother me. But they do. And I didn’t bother responding to his last text message to me.

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And Off He Goes February 22, 2018

So he who still doesn’t have a blog name leaves for vacation today. He’ll be back in 10 days. I won’t. I don’t leave until next week and won’t be back until the 2nd week in March.

Seems like weird timing to meet someone. While I have never believed in ‘bad timing’ and always thought of it as an excuse (unless, of course, you’re about to be imprisoned or deported), maybe that’s what this is.

Our texting has been pretty surface lately. As my new dating coach, Matthew Hussey (seriously, check him out; he knows his shit and is HOT) suggested, I have not been the one to initiate texts. I have not been the needy one. I have not ‘tested’ the situation.

Tonight Mr Vacation (oh, look who just got assigned a completely unimaginative blog name) sent a text apologizing for being incommunicado and kinda bleh the past couple of days. As it was completely unprompted, it was nice. Hey, maybe this shit works! Normally I would completely validate him and not want him to feel bad so would normally excuse everything. As I’m trying to embrace a new normal, all I said was that I appreciated his apology. And then I did something I normally wouldn’t do for fear of sounding needy or *gasp* letting him know I was interested. I told him that I wished that we could have gotten together before he left. Nope, wasn’t even guilt trippy or passive aggressive. It was just a statement and I left it at that.

He responded right back with another apology and saying he wished we could have gotten together as well, but that he just sort of ran out of time. While the old Grey would get all gushy and forgiving and let him off the hook because ‘look! he likes me!’, the new Grey isn’t so sure. He did have time to see me. He had time to see friends. He just didn’t prioritize seeing me and has, in fact, now run out of time.

Maybe we’ll chat while he’s gone, maybe we won’t. I’m not going to initiate anything and I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of my own damn vacation! Of course I won’t completely write him off as I do think he’s a good guy, but I will pay attention to what he does when I return.

Let’s face it. I don’t really know this guy. We’ve only met once. We’ve since exchanged about 400 text messages. Who knows what will happen. Here’s the difference between old & (hopefully) new Grey; I know what I want and what I deserve. I don’t need to make everything so easy by making myself so available. No, that doesn’t mean I need or want to make things difficult either. It just means I’ll pay attention and while I can ‘mirror’ his effort, I will not do all the work.

Now, while I never lie to others, we all know that I’m pretty damn good at lying to myself, so I guess we’ll see…..

Listening & Hearing Are Two Completely Different Things…. March 6, 2017

Or something like that.  Cheryl, one of my lovely (and apparently bored) followers has asked for an update on Mr. Met In Person. As I try my best to oblige (and really have nothing better to do), here ya’ go!

I met Mr. In Person well, in person.  Duh.  We had a great talk and really hit it off.  He asked for my number, I got all giddy and ridiculous and thought how awesome it was for someone to ask, in person, for my number rather than going through the angst and potential disaster of  meeting someone from online.  Yey me.

He then proceeded to not call me.  Super.  Once we finally did connect, he asked me out.  Yippeee!  However, it took us several tries for us to get our schedules in sync.  He works ridiculously long hours and is very VERY set in his schedule.  Although I’m a busy gal as well and often escape out of town on weekends, I tried my best to accommodate his limited availability.

We went out several times and really seemed to hit it off.  He’s a GOOD guy.  Good enough that I sort of forgave his admittedly shit-show of a personal life and ‘situation’ with his not yet to be ex wife.  Oopsie, he kinda forgot to tell me that fun tidbit until last week.  He still shares a house with his not yet ex wife and their son.  As ridiculous as that sounds to me, I do have friends that have done the same thing for the perceived benefit of their child.  While I don’t agree with this and feel that people don’t give their kids enough credit for ‘knowing what’s going on’, it’s not my place to say, I’m not a mom.

Anyway, he tells me all the complicated ins and outs of his personal and work life and I decided, because I’m the queen of bad decisions and giving people the benefit of the doubt, that I can deal with this.  We’d been out several times at that point (all oddly odd times as his schedule truly sucks and he is unwavering in his ‘norm’).  We spoke a little about the upcoming weekend that I would be in town and that he wouldn’t have his son with him.  I was very much looking forward to spending some quality time with him as all our prior dates were pretty much 2 hours long.  Exactly.  We hadn’t spoken about any specific plans for the weekend, but I let him know that I was looking forward to it and he replied in kind.

We spoke a bit about my vacation home as well and how I would love to take him there at some point in the future as it is in a place that he hasn’t been in 10 years and was looking forward to going back to.  Look at us proceeding at a normal (whatever that is) pace!

I was in said vacation place Saturday when I received his excited text telling me that he was planning a trip to said town the following weekend.  The weekend that we had talked about my need to be at home and how much I was looking forward to seeing him. IN town. He said he hoped I would be able to join him in said vacation locale and that he already booked a hotel.  Uhm, wait.  First of all, I own a place there, on the beach.  As he neither knows what part of the beach or even the general location of my place, how did he know where to book a hotel?  Why wouldn’t he wait to talk to me and coordinate a weekend that we could both be there?  Why, after 10 years of not being there, did he have to go right then and there?  Of course, I didn’t say any of these things to him.

What I did say was that I couldn’t get out-of-town that next weekend and that I was sad that he chose the weekend we had already spoken about doing something in our home town together to travel and that I had been looking forward to being his tour guide when we did make it to said vacation destination.  What I got in return was a 9 part text message explaining that our schedules are apparently too conflicting and that he doesn’t have the time, or inclination to pursue a romantic relationship right now.  What.  The.  Fuck.  I am quite certain that if I had said that I could drop everything and be at the whim of his stupid spur of the moment ridiculousness, I wouldn’t have gotten said break up text, but as I live in reality, that’s not what happened.  I am sad, mad, disappointed and a bit astounded that he did this. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

A fun little aside is the entire text message thing.  He hates text messaging.  I am of the mind that text message is for short little ‘nothing’ messages (hi, how are you? thinking of you, have a good day, etc…) and NOT for any sort of serious conversations.  We actually had this conversation on Tuesday when we last saw each other. He agreed.  And he still opted to break up with me via text……awesome.

My Sincerest Apologies December 1, 2010

To everyone who either landed here looking for information on family vacations or to those of you that are here of your own volition and are about to be subjected to the most mind numbingly lame, boring, ridiculous annoying text message volley between Disneyworld & I.  Feel free to grab a HUGE cup of coffee so you don’t doze off mid-stream:

DW: when are we going to snuggle

ME: hi stranger, how was your week?

DW: i don’t know as it’s just starting for me; i can’t seem to get motivated since being back in town; when are we going to snuggle?

ME:  uh, it’s wednesday night, you better get to work slacker

DW: but it’s hard to; when are we going to snuggle

ME: i have a big party on Saturday

DW: you’re on!

ME: uh, i meant that i’m working on saturday and don’t you have a big birthday party thing?

DW: i think so, Kevin (no clue who Kevin is btw) is planning it all and won’t tell us anything; when are we going to snuggle?

ME: huh, that makes it sort of difficult for you to invite anyone

DW: yup, he won’t give up any details; so what about that snuggle? *at least he changed the fucking wording*

ME: maybe sunday

DW: YEY!

*end scene*

OMG! How bored must I be to have not only text messaged back and forth so much, but to have text messaged back and forth so much on an absolutely nothing topic!   WTF does he mean by snuggle?  We haven’t even kissed yet!  And I think we all (all 3 of us) know that that can’t be good news for him as we’re all very well aware of my love of all things kissing ……. 😉

Speak Much? October 30, 2010

Is texting really the primary mode of communication for most online daters?  Ugh, I just figured out how to text this year (and believe me, it is still painful to watch), but c’mon …. there’s no way in hell I’m going to meet someone that I’ve never spoken to on the phone.  If I send you my number, that means that you can call me …….. I don’t ever recall sending my number and telling someone to ‘text me sometime’ ….. think about it; if they can’t carry on a conversation on the phone, what are they going to do when you’re sitting across from them? text you?