I don’t mean by not actually dating (which is what I have been perfecting lately). I mean more along the lines of what NOT to say to your date upon meeting.
To everyone’s surprise, it wasn’t actually me that stuck my foot in my mouth last Monday. Repeatedly.
He seemed nice enough on Bumble and offered to drive to my side of town, so why not? I arrived to the location before him and was just inside the door when he showed up behind me. I turned to give him a hug and had to bend down a bit. Huh, although I state my height in my Bumble profile, apparently being 2 inches shorter than I am wasn’t an issue for him. Okay, no biggie. I dated someone who was 5’8″ when I was in my 20s. He was a darling little hottie who just used to stand up on the curb while I stood in the street in order to kiss me. But he was a cutie and uber sweet so his being vertically challenged didn’t faze me in the least.
Sadly (for me) my date last Monday wasn’t so blessed with manners. We grabbed a table and started chatting. Well, to be clear, he started chatting and never EVER stopped. Within the 1st 20 minutes I knew all there was to know regarding his previous relationships (including 3 marriages), his job, his multiple side jobs, the screws in his knee, his cynicism regarding today’s youth, his love of Trump, his finances and just about every other detail that needed to be known by date #3. Too bad it all took place in the 1st 20 minutes of date #1.
He never took a breath. He also never asked me a single thing about myself. However, he did manage to fit in multiple slams on me.
- While rambling on about the youth of today and how unwilling to work they are (generalize much?) he says ‘I have no idea what you do for a living, but …. blah blah blah’ …… uhm, you could ask. Or actually read my profile where it does, in fact, state what I do.
- While telling me about wives number 1 through 3, he lets me know that he is usually attracted to twigs. Okay. Then he tells me about girlfriend number whatever who he dated for 3 years and says ‘I usually date such skinny women that I was surprised that I was attracted to someone your size’. Uhm, what the fuck?!
- He made it clear that he thinks most women take advantage of the generosity of men and don’t actually have to work very hard as they are given everything.
There were more, but these were probably the top 3. As he didn’t take a breath long enough for me to interject anything, I just sat there wide eyed. I actually even thought for a millisecond that he might just be nervous and has an unfortunate way of stating things, so I kinda let it go.
Until I didn’t. I’d had enough. I told him that if he wanted to know what I did for a living, he was free to ask as most initial meetings involve an exchange of information He did ask then. And I told him, and he immediately turned the conversation back to him.
When he swung back around to dating petite women with big boobs, I explained that there was a probably a better way to relay his delving into the world of average sized women than by insulting the woman sitting across from him. That he probably shouldn’t say ‘your size’ as it could be taken the wrong way. He then told me that I was wrong about that. Uhm, no, no I’m not. As I’m the one sitting across from you and listening to the intonation in your voice, I absolutely think the comment was insulting. Dumbass.
Best part of all? He got PISSED when, after an hour and a half, I said to him that I wasn’t quite sure what to make of our interaction. Before I could excuse myself and wish him a good night, he bellows ‘just go’. My god! I’ve never dealt with such a situation. Still, just because he was an ass doesn’t mean I need to be too (I know, I know, but I’m evolving). I went home with every intention to log into Bumble and say that it was nice (lie) meeting him and that I hope he finds someone terrific (another lie). In the 2.5 minutes that it took me to get home, he deleted me. Le sigh ……. not. Did I mention he had dirty fingernails? And before anyone bashes me, I’m all for blue-collar jobs and working with your hands (insert lewd 13-year-old boy humor here), but as he had the day off, it would have been nice if he’d have put in a little effort…