So Repo Man. Or The P.I. Or whatever I used to refer to him as for the past 5 years….As I can’t remember how to link a past blog post, here is the Cliff’s Notes Version:
I “met” him online close to 5 years ago. We didn’t actually meet in person until about 3 years ago. Repo Man doesn’t like to be alone. He hops from girlfriend to girlfriend to fiance to girlfriend. I only hear from him when he is either between girlfriends or needs relationship advice. Our 1st date was kiboshed because he ‘met the one’ on the Friday before our scheduled Sunday date. (He has since met no less than 10 ‘the ones’)
We have made several plans over the years that he inevitably cancels last minute. It has always bothered me a bit, but not tons as, although he is always super flirty with me and loves to ask ‘how come we never dated?’ (Uh, stop cancelling on me dumbass), as we weren’t actually dating, it was no biggie. This year those “plans” were super dramatic, involved and intrusive. For me. He wanted to move to my town and for whatever reason, it had to be immediately. Instead of letting him make a huge mistake, I dropped everything and researched and toured different places for him to live. He had the dates set so I cleared my schedule for his move. He went radio silent for about a week and then, 2 days before he was supposed to be here, he said he was going to give his current relationship one more try and thus wasn’t moving.
Whatevs, good for him. I really have no skin in this game and had decided long ago that he was a bit too ‘dramatic’ for me. He, on the other hand, I believe stayed in touch as Plan B. Radio silence set in (again) right after his latest decision. A few weeks later, I noticed his status (on FB – the root of all evil) was from another town (and state). He had, in fact, moved away. Okay, Good for him. Of course I still heard from him when he had issues or needed to talk thru things. He never seemed to go more than a month without a new girlfriend. The most recent relationship stories were super intense and, frankly, ridiculous. He would post tons of photos and tag the new woman and then, inevitably, any sign of her would disappear. I always assumed it was the woman unfriending/blocking him. Again, not my circus.
He was supposed to come for a visit in September as he still wanted to check out my town. September 27th, to be exact. I cleared my schedule, made touristy plans for his stay, cancelled a concert I was supposed to go to with friends as he didn’t want to go and got the guest room ready for his weekend visit.
My best friend encouraged me to “give him another shot”. I said no. I need someone with a bit more emotional maturity and less whininess drama. I was still happy to have him come for a visit and he always been super kind and nice to me, so why not?
2 nights before he was due to arrive, he canceled. Said he was sick. He cancelled his plane ticket. You can’t choose when you get sick, right? I told him to please rest up and take care of himself. That was the last contact for 2 months.
A couple weeks ago I saw his telltale signs of a new relationship. Photos were plastered all over FB including a cute pic of he and some woman at the beach with declarations of awesomeness. Too bad the date on the photos was September 27th. Wait. What?!
If there’s anything I hate more than flakes and stupidity, it’s being played for a fool. Nice going. I didn’t bother to message him as I assumed, as always, I would hear from him when this latest relationship fell apart.
I heard from him last week. He sent a text and wanted to know how a trip I had just taken went. I replied that the trip was good and that I hoped he was well. I then sent : “did I really see pics of you with a new woman on the beach dated the same weekend you were too sick to come see me?”
He sends back some scattered and SUPER defensive reply about how the dates were inaccurate (huh?) and how he didn’t appreciate me calling him a liar. Uh, what? I didn’t; I simply asked a question. Sure it was a bit passive aggressive, but too bad. After 5 years of him cancelling on me and ‘Plan B’ ing me, I was over it. I replied that I didn’t call him a liar and was simply asking a question as the dates coincided. Then I noted that he was being weirdly aggressive & defensive in his response.
He then declared “this is the last time I explain myself or my actions to you!” And then immediately blocked me on social media. What the ever living fuck?
Jesus! Drama queen much?! I am so tired of men not being able to have adult conversations or be honest. It’s so tiring. Apparently I hit a nerve. Or called him out on his bullshit. Either way, good riddance Repo Man. Now I understand why your relationships don’t last…….
Oh, and fuck you.
The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater 
I used to follow your blog but then you stopped posting. So glad to see your updates! But sorry that things didn’t work out with Mr. Oot. And after reading this post, I have to say that you give people way too many chances. Clearing your schedule for that flake? It must have been disappointing and frustrating, it really gets to me when people let me down. I like to think that most people are kind and caring, and I’m still sticking to it, it’s just the few here and there that suck.
Hi Cheryl! Thanks for sticking with me! When life is boring and all I do is whine, I don’t write 😉 You’re right, I DO give people too many chances; friends, non friends, men, etc…. I have been working on not doing that as much, but apparently I haven’t made much progress 🙄 I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt and treat people the way I would like to be treated, but fact of the matter is that others don’t follow that same rule. I will continue to give people the benefit of the doubt but will try to prioritize myself 1st (and not clear entire schedules…duh). This life thing is hard! 😉