43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

No More Mrs Nice Guy September 30, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 10:59 am
Tags: , , ,

So I tried my new theory of responding to messages from guys I wasn’t interested in to let them know exactly once.  And I’m still paying for it.

A gentleman that I wasn’t the least bit interested in wrote me a message.  I kindly responded saying we weren’t a good match.  He writes back, calling me the wrong name, and wanting to know why I felt that way.  As I thought it would be rude of me to say I wasn’t attracted to him in the least, I made up some bullshit about our astrological signs not being compatible and I just didn’t feel like I connected with anything he wrote.

Nice, right? Nothing he could argue with and nothing that would hurt his feelings.  I was rewarded with yet another message asking if I was sure and if I shouldn’t at least give him a shot.

I didn’t respond.  Today he sends yet ANOTHER message just checking in.  He wanted to remind me that he was the one who sent me the nice message (it wasn’t that nice and he called me the wrong name) and wanted to see if I was still interested in getting to know each other.

What?!?!?!  Uhm, I didn’t want to get to know him.  Never did.  So much for trying to be nice.

 

Gmail Knows Best September 29, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:54 pm

So I opted to send an e mail today that I probably should not have.  No, not to HIM. ;) It was just a short ‘ thinking of you, how’s your dad?’.  Basically an uber lame way of jumping up and down in front of him, waving my arms in order to make sure he knew I was still around and inevitably having him be thrilled to hear from me so he would get back in touch and we can immediately start our happily ever after. I hemmed and hawed for a minute, thought better of it and then hit send anyway.  Gmail had my back though.  It said it couldn’t be sent.  To which I was actually relieved and thanked the powers that be in the world of e mails.  Until it updated and sent it anyway….

 

New Approach To Messages… September 21, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:16 am

As I said yesterday, I’ve opted to adopt a new approach when I receive messages from men that I’m not interested in. Instead of just ignoring them, I send a short ‘thanks for the note, but I don’t think we’d be a good match. good luck in your search’. Thought that might earn me some cosmic bonus points. I’m already regretting that decision.

The 2nd man that I sent my polite decline to promptly wrote back and asked me why. And called me by the wrong name. Huh? I (somewhat) honestly told him that although his profile was well written and he sounded like a nice man, that it just didn’t excite me. As I feared that would then garner yet another ‘but why?’, I threw in the fact that our astrological signs aren’t compatible. Yes, I’m just that lame. NO, I don’t follow astrology! I was grasping at straws for reasons that he couldn’t ‘argue’.

In the end, I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings so although my ‘we’re not cosmically compatible’ excuse was lame beyond belief, I thought it was much nicer than sending ‘your shorter than I am, not attractive, live far and you’re holding a picture of a fish in your profile’.

So wait, does actually fibbing in my response to him negate the bonus karmic points I was trying to earn in the 1st place?

 

And Yes, I Need To Be Institutionalized September 20, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:09 am
Tags: , , ,

Well hello there!  Yes, I am perfecting the art of being a crappy blogger by going MIA often.  Sorry about that.  When there’s nothing much to post, I don’t.  Welcome to my uber boring world.  It’s actually not so uber boring but if I told you all of the shit that goes on, you might think I’m actually making it up.

Like when a friend, now very much an EX friend, opted to send me a randomly shitty text about what a horrid person I am and then proceeded to list all the reasons that I can’t keep a man interested.  Uhm, what?  I hadn’t even spoken to him in ages.  I’ve always known he was a rage filled man and recovering alcoholic, but I have also always defended him to others and was quite certain that under all his gruff that he had a heart of gold.  What do you know?  I was wrong.  Asshole.

Like the fact that TD flits in and out at his own will and although I steer clear and he still manages to make me feel like complete shit at times, he actually did a bit of construction for me at my new house.  Oh wait, did you all just fall off your chairs?  Well don’t.  No need to worry.  Although I’ve claimed, many MANY times in the past, to ‘get it’.  I truly do.  He never cared for me in the way I thought he did.  I filled a void for him when he needed it and then when he didn’t, due to the fact that he doesn’t like to be the ‘bad guy’ and just tell me, honestly, that he was done with me (which, ironically would have made him kind of a stand up, good guy), he kept me on the fringes and made me feel that everything was my fault and forced me to be the one walk away time and again and would then get mad at me for walking away.  Yes, fucked up as it is, that’s our history.  He’s still with horseface and they’re in love.  He has settled on someone that doesn’t challenge him in the least, who brings nothing to the table and who doesn’t bring out the best in anyone that she’s around.  He has chosen her because she is simple.  He can live up only to 1/2 of his potential and half ass everything and she’ll be fine with that.  Not my problem.

Like the fact that, even though I swore off online dating after the 2nd of 2 potentially great guys made up lame excuses to bail on me, that in a fit of insanity, I signed back up for Match.  What?  They caught me during a moment of weakness and lured me in with their 3 months for $30 bullshit.  I caved, I know.  And am already regretting it.  I have gotten winks and messages from all the creepers who pounce on ‘fresh meat’ the second they join and have gotten many winks from men that I remember from years ago ….. who have yet to change their pictures.  In reading through ‘matches’ (read: dregs of society), I actually found 3 men yesterday that struck my fancy.  They were handsome, my height or taller, and could string all their words together without sounding like a moron.  Oh, and none of them were holding a fish.  Or a dead whatever in any of their pics.  1 of them got a wink.  The other 2 got well crafted, short notes.  They all immediately looked at my profile.  And ignored my interest.  Yey me.  The one that I sent a wink to actually did send me a short message thanking me for the wink, saying he didn’t think we were a good match and wished me well in my search.  Not sure if I would rather have that or just be ignored.

I’ve opted to adopt that style though.  I will reply to those that take the time to write me with a short note of thank you, best of luck, but I’m not your gal.  I usually just ignore messages I’m not interested in, but as I’m still single, maybe that has contributed to my dating karma, so I’m switching it up this time.

Let’s see how this goes……..

 

 

At Least I’m Consistent August 9, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:33 am
Tags: , , ,

So I started this blog to chronicle my search for love. Online. Not sure if that’s not an oxymoron. Maybe it’s just me that’s the moron, who knows? It was fun to write about past dates. Past good dates. Past horrible dates. I write in order to express myself in order to hopefully not explode by keeping everything inside.

It does get tiring, and very disheartening, to continually write about ‘good’ guys that I meet which everyone knows doesn’t happen often. When it does, I find myself getting hopeful, which I always thought was a good thing. Apparently it’s not. I don’t write about dates past the 1st or 2nd unless I’m questioning something. I would never violate my dates’ identities or privacy. Each time I write about someone new, I really hope that I WON’T be writing much more about them as that would mean things are going well. Seems as if I end up writing about everyone as they’re all short lived. I took a big chance trying to date again with my knee still being wonky and with me being a good 20 lbs overweight. I thought my ever waning confidence could handle it. It can’t. Oh, and yes, I’ve been dumped. Again. Via text.

I liked this one. We were similar in MANY ways. He was funny and kind and smart as hell. He seemed to really like me and pretty much told me as much. Until he didn’t. ‘Bad timing’ seems to be my nemesis. I’ve written about my thoughts on ‘bad timing’ before. I think it’s bullshit. Unless your parole is being revoked or you’re soaring off into space, there’s really no such thing if you like someone.

This time it’s that he wants to move. I totally ‘get’ that, but if he really liked me, he would continue on seeing me while still planning his move. People do long distance all the time, right? Who knows if it would have even gotten that far, but why, at any point in your life, would you opt out of seeing if maybe ‘the one’ you just met could be ‘the one’?  That makes me think that his reasoning that he gave me is bullshit.  That he just didn’t like me enough to continue on.

I thought I was doing okay. Just going with the flow. Seeing where things went. I didn’t though. I was the one to contact him since he’s been back. I was the one to suggest doing something tonight. I tried to ‘move things along’ I guess. I just knew, when I heard my text message alert go off, that it wasn’t going to be good news. It wasn’t. It was pleasant enough, but still I’m left to question, once again, what I could have done differently. What I did to make him not want to see where, if anywhere, this would go.

I’m off to cancel my online profiles. Yes, again. I just can’t do this anymore right now.

Although I have a pretty active social life and do many fun things that don’t involve boys, it sure was nice, for a short time, to have a boy in the mix….. :-(

 

2 Used To Be My Lucky Number August 7, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:01 am

I think I need to revise my statement that ‘I’m a great date’. Or at least put a disclaimer of sorts. I am a great date. Most of my dates tell me so. I’m easy to talk to. Not too shabby to look at (even with my hideous post knee disaster extra poundage). I’m smart. And I’m funny. Who doesn’t love to laugh? So while all of these statements are apparently true, they only seem to hold true through date #2. That seems to be my sticking point.

The Unicorn opted out after our 2nd ‘official’ date. Even with all of our dozens of phone conversations and hundreds of e-mails. He just up and disappeared.

Seems as if my new(ish) interest (he hasn’t even earned a blog name yet) is fading away as well. We had a great 1st date. A great, although short, 2nd date. He was all about scheduling in a 2nd date before he left town. He sent me lots of great pictures and intermittent text messages while he was away for 10 days. He was in and out of cel range, so no worries there. He’s been back since Sunday. He’s been sick since Sunday. He doesn’t like being ‘helped’ when he’s sick. I know he’s probably swamped with work and trying to recover, but it seems as if I’m fading into either oblivion or the dreaded ‘friend zone’. No flirty texts. No mention of future dates or that he even wishes he could see me.

Am I too sensitive and over thinking things? Uhm, absolutely. Have we not met? I’ve been the one to initiate text ‘conversations’ (I don’t think he likes to talk on the phone) since he’s been home and although he absolutely engages and we can text about anything for hours off and on, I miss my ‘good morning sunshine’ texts. :-(

Not sure where, if anywhere, this one is going. It’s new, he’s sick, he’s working, he was out of town. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve seen him and yes, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not all that bad. It just seems longer. I do better with ‘future’ plans I guess.

I think I need to figure out why this keeps happening though. My last few dates have all told me how easy I am to talk to. How fun I am. How much they like me. How they think I’m pretty (ha). I seem to have issues securing 3rd dates though. Boo.

I will leave it to him to contact me next. Maybe he will. Maybe he won’t. I hope he does. I’d like to know more about him. He’s kinda fascinating….. yet still blog nameless……huh.

 

Who Ran Fastest? July 30, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:32 am

So there sat my date, sticky and sweet smelling as can be thanks to my oh so graceful dumping of my drink on him.  Either of us could have taken that opportunity to bail.  Neither of us did.

We ordered another round and split some appetizers and before either of us realized, it was 4.5 hours later.

I find him fascinating.  He knows everything (but not in a rudely superior way).  His skill set (minds out of the gutter) are many and far flung.  He’s nice, wicked smart, witty, kind and, best of all….he told me I was pretty. ;)

As he was leaving town in a few short days, he wanted to see me again before he left (yey me), so we made lunch plans for 2 days from then.

When we left, he politely asked if he could walk me to my car and as we were talking, he leaned in and gave me a pretty great kiss.  And then another one.  And another. ;)

We seem to have a lot in common.  Not intelligence wise, mind you, but our backgrounds and upbringing.  He’s currently out of town and texts when he can and sends me all sorts of pretty water pictures (as in bodies of, not glasses of).

Oh, and did I mention that he thinks I’m pretty? ;)

 

 
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